Passionately apathetic. Not a lover nor a fighter but a secret third thing
Joined September 2009
- Tweets 42,132
- Following 1,802
- Followers 2,748
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6,077 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
26 Aug 2024
The first 51 weeks after vacation are always the toughest
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I’m “can’t tell the difference between an O and a 0 unless the zero has a line through it” years old.
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A 30-minute meeting is really an hour when you factor in the 15 minutes of dread before it and the 15 minutes it takes to recover after it.
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LL Gabagool Jay retweeted
Feb 21
You can just take a picture of a tortoise and say it’s 192 years old. Nobody checks that shit.
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LL Gabagool Jay retweeted
Feb 16
I have a hard time believing every single American president was born on this day, but whatever.
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I’m only 50% sure I’m off today, but 100% sure I’m not working.
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LL Gabagool Jay retweeted
Feb 12
Remember when water was the only brand of water?
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When you’re more excited about Friday the 13th than Valentine’s Day
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Turns out I’m not all that productive on the Tuesday after the Super Bowl either
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The Walk of Shame, but it’s just leaving Home Depot empty-handed, foolishly thinking they’d still have shovels in stock
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A snowman so realistic it refuses to stop and ask for directions
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For someone who isn’t good at his job, I talk a lot of sh!t about weather forecasters
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26 Dec 2025
If I was a size XS or XXXXXXL, I’d be cleaning up with these clearance sales
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LL Gabagool Jay retweeted
25 Dec 2025
Santa had it right.
Visit people once a year.
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10 Dec 2025
No one on any work call for the entire month of December can believe how fast the year has gone by
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