Joined October 2019
- Tweets 23,450
- Following 424
- Followers 273
- Likes 56,675
2,090 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Got tired of looking at Johnny Appleseeds stupid feet so I gave him a pair of 4s
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
thinking about that Portlandia sketch where one of Fred Armesin's characters gets hit with a C&D from Matt Groening for bootlegging and Fred is like Whose law says I can't do this? That's not my law. My law is this. And points and and it's just a sign he made that says "BE TRUE"
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
Jun 8
George Carlin's standup over footage of Splinter from the live Ninja Turtles show from the '90s 🤣 so good
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I have one week to re-teach myself how to make puppets before I gotta teach about 90 people how to make puppets I got this in the bag stay tuned
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3 days without wine, you're doing just fine... 3 days without weed, you're getting the centipede......
Jun 1
i leave my bong outside for like 3 days WHY IS THERE A CENTIPEDE IN IT ????????????????
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Absolutely terrified I've worked so hard on this Community Theater / Indie Rock Band hybrid art thing what if everyone thinks it lame or worse what if nobody cares about the puppet musical coming after what if I'm fucked for life what if I'm washed and fucked and aaaaaaaaa
For the past 4 years I've been holing myself up in my bedroom studio writing a partially fictionalized partially historical space rock opera about Laika and now it's time to assemble the visual aesthetic of the record before moving to booking studio time Aaaaa
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For the past 4 years I've been holing myself up in my bedroom studio writing a partially fictionalized partially historical space rock opera about Laika and now it's time to assemble the visual aesthetic of the record before moving to booking studio time Aaaaa
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I have a new hobby of making cranberry almond chicken salad and then eating 1.5lbs of it
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i have been drinking root beer at night a lot. barqs. good stuff. i sleep like a dog. i should be put down like a dog. like the barqs dog.
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counting or not counting nyc transplant yuppies
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
21 Dec 2025
This one
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Finally hit the point in my career where I'm being paid to play Sweet Child of Mine dear lord
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
20 Oct 2025
mmmm
20 Oct 2025
fuk it im just gonna draw some cheesy gay shit who cares i ffeel like it
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Everyday I miss Twitter Circles
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
6 Oct 2025
Tranquil lulls between adventures
🎨 @MintCashew
@TrashYeeen's chest is a comfy lay, but he says my muzzle is too pointy and stabby
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
5 Oct 2025
i feel comfortable saying this is one of the most fucking disgusting and anti-art practices any artist could make and it’s terrible that the one doing it is one of the most popular artists in the world. the utter greediness is just shameful. this should shouldn’t be acceptable.
4 Oct 2025
File this under “save your best for the finale”… I think my favorite moments from the tour were the acoustic surprises. So I went back into the studio with Max and Shellback to record acoustic/unplugged versions of a few of the Showgirl songs with brand new vocals and production! Cannot WAIT for you to hear:
❤️🔥 Life Is A Song Acoustic Version with “Opalite (Life Is A Song Acoustic Version)” and “Ruin the Friendship (My Advice Version)”
❤️🔥 Dressing Room Rehearsal Version with “Wi$h Li$t (Settled Down Acoustic Version)” and “The Life of a Showgirl (Dressing Room Rehearsal Acoustic Version)”
❤️🔥 Alone In My Tower Acoustic Version with “The Fate of Ophelia (Alone In My Tower Acoustic Version)” and “Eldest Daughter (Now You’re Home Acoustic Version)”
❤️🔥 So Glamorous Cabaret Version with “Elizabeth Taylor (So Glamorous Cabaret Version)” and Elizabeth Taylor (Original Songwriting Voice Memo)
Four limited CD releases each including two acoustic bonus tracks on my site now for 24 hours while supplies last.
store.taylorswift.com
Album Producers: Max Martin, Shellback and Taylor Swift
📸: TAS Rights Management
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
5 Oct 2025
What the fucking fuck is this maniac talking about. He told Pete Hegseth about Osama bin Laden a year before 9/11???
Pete Hegseth was a 20 year old college kid a year before 9/11.
Trump needs to be removed from office.
He’s COMPLETELY lost it.
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
3 Oct 2025
Girl FUCK Mick Jagger FUCK Keith Richards and FUCK Brian Jones
3 Oct 2025
REVIEW: @taylorswift13 Conquers Her Biggest Stage Ever on #TSTheLifeofaShowgirl
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Read the Rolling Stone review: rollingstone.com/music/music…
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
5 Oct 2025
If this is a response track, I need charli on her nastiest pots and pans hyperpop shit. Start scaring them three seconds into the song
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I don't smoke anymore I just eat pizza now retweeted
5 Oct 2025
Taylor Swift has delayed my vinyl from being produced multiple times as well as delayed other artists’ records with her greedy release practices, so I genuinely have a reason to dislike her
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