Joined September 2012
- Tweets 902
- Following 521
- Followers 69
- Likes 10,139
68 Photos and videos
29 Apr 2022
When you have a split mattress how do you pick which side to fuck on
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28 Apr 2022
An employee just walked in to the bathroom off this small waiting room, pooped enthusiastically, walked out without washing his hands, and left the door open so now everything smells. Thank God we are "getting back to normal", really missed this.
6 Apr 2022
Whoever holds my student loans and keeps emailing me every week to set up my autopay so I will be ready when payments start back up (lol nice try) is going to be PISSED
5 Apr 2022
WASHINGTON (AP) β US official says White House to extend pandemic pause on student loan repayments through Aug. 31.
31 Jan 2022
I can't imagine how upset the photographer was when Joseph, like a toddler, made direct eye contact as he shit in the hottub
29 Jan 2022
this is the ideal male body β you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
19 Jan 2022
My mom called to say that two of her co-workers tested positive this weekend, and my sister got sent home sick from work so she went to hang out at my mom's until it was time to pick up kids from school and ahhhhhhhhgghggh
15 Jan 2022
The RN at my drs office really asked me, while taking my blood pressure, if at any time in the past 2 weeks have I felt extremely depressed or hopeless. I paused a minute, then laughed. She didn't laugh along so I said "probably not". Whew, close call.
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Lex Files retweeted
28 Dec 2021
the cdc just said itβs okay to kiss a whale gently on the forehead
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26 Dec 2021
Been trying to calm my mom's manic Xmasing for years, to get her to stop expecting all us grown kids to come home every Christmas and spoiling our rotten kids. Now my dad is dead & she wanted to spend her day alone. My wish was granted, but I think most likely by an evil genie.
24 Dec 2021
Finally listening to the @CrimeInSports eps about Mike Tyson, now I'm spending my Xmas Eve watching all his old fight footage π
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15 Dec 2021
My mom kept our baby teeth in these
13 Dec 2021
Retweet if you recognise this & know what it is for
21 Nov 2021
7 minutes into @anylaurie16 Dead People Suck and I'm already in tears. Necessary, cleansing tears.
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28 Oct 2021
REVENGE (2018)
I fucking loved this movie. I usually avoid movies with rape scenes, but this one wasn't over-the-top and chose to spend a lot more time on some of the best gore I've ever seen. As beautiful as it is repulsive.
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
20 Oct 2021
HALLOWEEN KILLS (2021)
fucking bummer.
I wish I would've waited to see until the 3rd premiere, maybe it wouldn't taste so bad if it's in the middle of a good sandwich. But that requires the third to be amazing... Here's to hoping.
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
19 Oct 2021
TRAGEDY GIRLS (2017)
Actually loved this one. Great chemistry between the leads, Craig Robinson is always a treat, and the comedy is well-balanced with the gore.
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
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19 Oct 2021
SCHOOL SPIRIT (2019)
The breakfast club but make it slasher πͺ
Predictable in a lot of ways but still fun
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
19 Oct 2021
FINAL GIRL (2015)
I didn't realize it wasn't set in modern day until at least halfway through. Just thought they were all rich. Wes Bentley is still very attractive. Nothing else lived up to my expectations. Buzzkill.
PS Cato was in this and The Final Girls in the same year?
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
19 Oct 2021
THE FINAL GIRLS (2015)
Overall fun and enjoyable. The message of letting your dead parent go strikes a different chord now that I'm a member of the dead parent club. Kinda wish it had gone the groundhog's day way like it hinted
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
19 Oct 2021
THE TALL MAN (2012)
This movie HATES poor people. Jessica Biel hates poor people. In the last 3 seconds, the movie asks "is it good to hate poor people?"
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
19 Oct 2021
I'm powering through an extreme amount of horror/thriller/spooky-dooks this year, gonna make little reviews so I can keep track
30 Sep 2021
My 6yo: "would you rather eat a poison apple that makes you sleep for a week, or wake up next to a really rich girlfriend who doesn't care about you or pay attention to you?"
π
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