Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra.ππ»πFind me on IG instagram.com/lizerreal?igshβ¦
Joined May 2017
- Tweets 77,819
- Following 849
- Followers 50,456
- Likes 147,087
15,236 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
25 Jan 2021
oh shit. i'm at a doctors appointment, and i legit forgot to take the sugar glider out of my sports bra. let's hope she stays asleep!!!
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Jan 2
i donβt know how to explain this but my vibe is Karen Wheeler Derek
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30 Dec 2025
Follow me on Instagram for parenting tales, jokes, pictures, reels, and more. Iβm barely on twitter anymore because itβs a nazi hellscape these days.
instagram.com/lizerreal?igshβ¦
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27 Dec 2025
Iβm only staying up until midnight on New Years to watch 2025 DIE
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30 Dec 2025
The bar for 2026 is so low itβs basically a speed bump
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29 Dec 2025
My 11yo was watching a Stranger Things youtube quiz that asked "what makes the viewer suspect that the mayor in season 3 is corrupt?"
And she shouted out "because he works in the government!"
Sheβs not wrong π
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Lil Bit π retweeted
13 Oct 2025
My daughter was mad at me and yelled βIβm gonna spend the day in my room and youβll be ALL ALONE all day!β And that just isnβt the threat she thinks it is
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17 Oct 2025
I talk to my dogs out loud and have them respond to me in their little puppy voices. This is completely normal!
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17 Oct 2025
[About the new foster dog]
Me: I think he's about 6 or 7 years.
My Gen Z kids: *grins*
Me: Don't.
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13 Oct 2025
Explaining the miracle of salmon spawning to my spawn
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Lil Bit π retweeted
23 Sep 2025
Oh no, it looks like Iβve had a little too much to think
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1. Open fridge. Nothing to eat. 2. Open cabinets. Nothing to eat. 3. Lower standards and repeat.
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12 Oct 2025
At this point Iβm pretty sure I was born a hot mess.
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10 Oct 2025
Ordered my kids food from two different places and the drivers are about to arrive at the same time, and why does this feel so embarrassing
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2 Oct 2025
Me: *screams into the void*
Spirit Halloween: *screams back*
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11 Oct 2025
Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary so I can relax
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12 Oct 2025
for once i would just like to underthink a situation. how do you guys do that?
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12 Oct 2025
I saw a dog wearing a vest that said βNot Friendly, Do Not Approachβ and do they make these for people? Cause I want one
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