Sad News…

Blend in

Lawyers really are scum of the earth

If you’re not gnome maxxing you’re already behind

Might as well give it an external battery pack that’s disguised as a pocket protector

So a Gavin Newscum Press conference in other words.

Liberals: “Protect LGBTQ rights at all costs.” Also liberals: “Free Palestine.”

Epstein was trying to offer prosecutors dirt on Trump, report says, but did not have anything, per Forbes.

HHS Sec. RFK Jr. announced that for the first time in 50 years, obesity rates in the US are declining. “Since President Trump came into office, obesity rates in this country have dropped by 2.5%.”

Get yourself a certificate kings

Valley Grove Home Owners Association Alert: 🚨 An unfortunate update. Mr. Pumpkin has been found deceased in the community pool. I had just warned of leaving the gate open earlier. We will now be placing a special assessment on the neighborhood of $256 per household for upgrades to the pool lock and entrance gate. Assessments can be paid directly to me as HOA Treasurer. A vigil will be held for Mr. Pumpkin on Thursday Evening at 9:45 pm until 10:30 pm. Attendance is mandatory and you must bring a food dish. Please email me what you will be bringing so we do not have duplicates. Potato Chips from 7 Eleven are not acceptable Kyle. Let’s make sure we come together and support Mrs. Gibson in her time of grief. Thank You For Your Attention To This Matter. Magnus -Valley Grove HOA President & Treasurer.

Bitches be like “Talk to me when your a Quadrillionaire”

Valley Grove Home Owners Association Alert: 🚨 A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT JOSE FROM GREEN GRASS AMERICA LLC HAS BEEN SUBCONTRACTED TO INPECT THE LENGTH OF YOUR GRASS THIS TUESDAY. GRASS HEIGHT MAY NOT EXCEED 3 3/4 INCHES OR A $5 PENALTY WILL BE INCURRED DAILY INTILL REMEDIED MADE PAYABLE TO ME THE TREASURER. Thank You for your attention to this matter. Magnus -Valley Grove HOA President & Treasurer.

Valley Grove Home Owners Association Alert: 🚨 Sherri Gibsons 14 year old Pomeranian Mix Mr. Pumpkin has escaped her back yard again and is roaming the neighborhood. If you see Mr. Pumpkin please notify Neighborhood Watch Commander Russel Whitmore at extension 4021 from the community REC center phone. Do not try to capture him. Although Mr. Pumpkin is blind and has no teeth he is a nasty little shit and should be handled by the appropriate authorities. Thank You For Your Attention To This Matter. Magnus -Valley Grove HOA President & Treasurer.

Valley Grove Home Owners Association Alert: 🚨 William and Jennifer McDonald of 2313 Valley Grove Way have had their garbage cans out for 6 hours past the garbage collection time. This is a violation of the Community Rules and Guidelines. They will incur a $75 fine today and an additional $50 fine for each additional day the issue is not resolved. Bill and Jen, please make fine payable to me as HOA treasurer. We must all pull our weight to keep Valley Grove Beautiful. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Magnus -Valley Grove HOA President & Treasurer.

X just doesn’t work a lot of times. What a business model.

Valley Grove Home Owners Association Alert: 🚨 All garage sales must be approved by the Board with sign off approved by the HOA President moving forward. There will be a $15 application fee and $3 filing fee. If approved 23% of all gross not net profits from the garage sale must be paid to the Valley Grove Home Owners Association Community Fund. Checks can be payable to me as Treasurer. Link to receipt will be provided at a future date.