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Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby

The most magical place on earth

Joined October 2011
  • Tweets 821
  • Following 99
  • Followers 44
122 Photos and videos
Happiness with @PeterMelby at @lucky_joes #coffeebomb
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Dear @VANS_66 your "New Blazing Classics" design is super offensive to anyone who lives near (or worse, lost everything from) frequent wildfires.
I just tried to turn on our Wi-Fi lights by clapping twice. If you don't know what The Clapper is (was?), we can't be friends anymore.
Amanda L Melby retweeted
Peter Melby @PeterMelby
15 Oct 2021
"fuck you, tattoo guy, for saying we wouldn't make it" -@MandaMelby #HappyAnniversary
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You guys, I get to be 45 today! I LOVE birthdays and am always thankful when mine comes around. instagram.com/p/CSiV1SNDefr/…

Amanda Melby (@mandamelby) • Instagram photos and videos

instagram.com
"I wish I had the balls to buy a bag of dicks." I'm a lady!
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YES!!! Book delivery days are the best days. #ShopLocal book nerds! @im_yoder
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Covid brought out a new level of honesty and authenticity in our home. For example, I just screamed "THIS FALLS DIRECTLY UNDER: SHIT I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SAY ANYMORE!"
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While the dad's away...mom watches #GodzillaVsKong with E while the ladies have a private showing of Ella Enchanted. Fact: Filled Twizzlers pair nicely with sparking rosé. Missing @PeterMelby
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"2 things melt in the rain: sugar and shit, and you sure as shit ain't made of sugar, honey." - my dad, when I didn't want to walk home in the rain.
My phone just autocorrected "damn" to "dang". Happy Easter? Duck you, phone. Duckity, duck, duck, duck.
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Nora (7) going through the months of the year trying to figure out the cat's birthday: "is it like, June July or Pikachu?" #publicschool
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Came across this little gem: It's so cool that this "Christian" can use ancient mythology to bolster the church's ever present misogyny. Girls in ancient Greece were married off at 12-15 and given as property. Fuck off, asshole.
"You guys need to shower, and can you PLEASE wash this time?" - a dumb mom thing I say
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Nora (7): Is it Green or Black?? Me (44): Are you having a stroke? Nora (7): What?
I'm totally out of touch: my 13yo just said "I don't ship that" after watching 2 people kiss. I couldn't understand what she meant. Guys: they call relationships "ships" and created a verb: "shipping". If you support or think a relationship works then you 'ship' the couple. WTF.
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I got this concept wrong when she first explained it. I had to Google it, because the day my kid turned 13, I socially aged out of being able to relate to teenagers.
Love is...making homemade pizza so my kids can watch a freaking prequel. 😣 #ItsSparklingJuice #StarWarsPrequelsSUCK #GoodMom
This one just pulled all her hair over her head and to one side then said "Look, I'm Donald Trump! DUHHHHH", and tonight as least, it's hilarious.
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Want a break from absurdity? Here's a refreshing 5 minute dose of solid logic. Go!
Neil deGrasse Tyson
 @neiltyson
16 Jan 2021
Posted this five years ago. But from what has transpired in America recently, it’s clear that not enough people paid attention. So I’ll try again… A meditation on Political vs. Personal vs. Objective Truths [1,000 words — 4 minute read] haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/…
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