The Strait of Hormuz looked less like a strategic waterway Friday night and more like a summer blockbuster called “Drones, Danger, and Diplomacy.” There were explosions. There were warning shots. There were flying objects being swatted from the sky. And there was enough tension floating over those waters to make even the fish nervous. Somebody get me a supersized popcorn, stat. The U.S. military said it clipped the wings of several Iranian attack drones headed toward commercial shipping. Iranian media offered a different cut of the film, reporting explosions, but describing them as mere warning shots fired by Iranian forces to remind passing vessels who is captain of this particularly choppy ship. Same blast, different screenplay. Yet amid the bangs, booms, and ballistic ballyhoo, there were fresh hints that the diplomatic dance might finally be nearing the last waltz. After weeks of negotiations that have moved with all the grace of a rusty shopping cart down two wheels, officials were increasingly suggesting that a deal may be drifting into view. For President Trump, that possibility is both a blessing and a puzzling political pretzel. He has spent months serving up a menu of threats, treats, heat, and sweet. One day it’s maximum pressure. The next day it’s maximum optimism. The day after, an indifferent shrug. His challenge is that any deal Iran is willing to autograph may be difficult to sell back home as the Deal of the Century rather than a Compromise of Convenience. In political terms, he risks ordering a steak and having critics claim he brought home a tofu burger. So, the administration appears to be trying a familiar Washington magic trick: don’t make the biggest disagreements disappear—simply move them to another part of the stage. If they postpone the most combustible disputes, maybe that will be enough to keep the negotiations from going up in smoke. Unfortunately, the sticking points remain stickier than a Raisinet residue coating a movie theater floor. There are still major disagreements over Iran’s frozen billions, the future of the Strait of Hormuz, and what to do with Iran’s highly enriched uranium. Tehran, meanwhile, continues to pursue those frozen funds with the determination of a shopper sprinting toward a Black Friday doorbuster. In remarks on state television, Araghchi appeared to temper expectations, telling news outlets not to “muddy the waters” and stating that there was “no agreement in which one side has won 100 and other zero.” But the foreign minister suggested that Tehran had won some key concessions. Iran and Oman would remain in control of the Strait of Hormuz and would charge a “service fee” to vessels crossing the waterway, according to Araghchi. Also there’s The Leak—the diplomatic equivalent of somebody shouting the ending of the movie during the opening credits. A purported draft of the final agreement surfaced publicly. The text was widely viewed as friendly to Iran’s position, producing what officials described as considerable frustration inside Team Trump. The president reportedly wasn’t about to let that become the accepted plot summary. He instructed aides to push back hard against the notion that the agreement would be flimsy, squishy, mushy, or flush with cash for Tehran before Iran fulfilled its promises. He wanted to make sure nobody mistook a hard bargain for a bargain-bin special. So where does the story stand? The drones are buzzing. The diplomats are huddling. The leaks are leaking. The critics are critiquing. And the president is trying to convince audiences that if a deal arrives, it will be a five-star thriller rather than a straight-to-streaming disappointment. Stay tuned. There could be an In Real Life or virtual signing ceremony next week, but the credits are not rolling yet. **** Paraguay? Paragaon? ParaGone! With the eyes of the world on the 2026 FIFA World Cup in Los Angeles, USA rousted Paraguay a rousing 4-1, sending them Para-packing. Up Next, Down Under, as our D-Group Dream Team faces Australia. Meanwhile, tourists and spectators are loving our D-list celebrities, our giant gleaming gas stations, and our red, white, and blue hospitality. I’ll stick with a good old fountain Cherry Coke, please. **** Lightning only strikes twice! Unless it’s at a UFC cage match on the White House lawn Sunday. Then all bets are off, because thunderstorms are rolling towards Washington, D.C. to rain on Trump’s foot-and-fist-flying parade. And keep those trendy hand-held fans close, even with the downpour, because temperatures will hit a muggy mid-nineties, a swamp in the center of the Swamp. But don’t let the weather get you down! While the fighters tussle under the lights of the golden Claw, you will be busy fighting off swarms of midges, mayflies, stoneflies, caddisflies, winged beetles, mosquitos, biting black flies, bats, and, possible per UFC president Dana White, “a “holy s**t” level of gnats.”.Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal taunts that President Trump, a spring chicken in my book, is too old for this s**t. **** Speaking of s**t, you know who gets s**t done??!! As my Latvian grandparents used to say, “If you want to get s**t done, send a Jew.” And what a Jew Pennsylvania has!!! The Wall Street Journal profile of Josh Shapiro and his presidential aspirations slobbers over him like a bubbe over a babka. Hey, if Israel and Ukraine can have Jewish leaders, why not us? (Don’t answer that!) Instead of “Hail to the Chief,” the band will play “Fiddler on Pennsylvania Avenue.” A mezuzah outside the Situation Room? Why not!?!! His Secret Service code name would be, “Did You Eat Yet?” The Oval Office? NO!! The Oval Oy-fice, yes!! Instead of “The Buck Stops Here,” the desk plaque will read, “For This I Paid Full Price?” President Shapiro? That would mean for the first time in American history, the leader of the free world would also be expected to complain to every foreign dignitary they’re not visiting often enough. At least, you could pick up the red phone and call, no? **** Scrooge McDuck is worth five multiplujillion. Richie Rich has a dollar sign for a middle name. Montgomery Burns of Springfield, USA has a net value of about nine or ten impossibidillion. Put ‘em all together, they still have nothing on Elon Musk, trillionaire, who owns a mansion, a yacht, X, countless children, SpaceX, Tesla, and God knows what else. Earthlings, you have met your match and he ain’t done yet.