Single dad. Cars, animals, drive an Isuzu DMax while smoking and shouting down a phone for a living (according to my son). Penchant for women of unstable nature
Joined July 2023
- Tweets 51,498
- Following 2,205
- Followers 1,609
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4,466 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
22 Sep 2024
Never take your car to the pub, with mates like mine....
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There was a brief moment where we nearly didn't make it, as at the scanners in Berlin, my rucksack that's been all over was scanned and tested positive for explosives.
This led to;
1. Federal Police attending
2. Everything being searched
3. Plan B for jnr
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Jun 14
This morning I'd like to thank #dildoking.de for mid breakfast my child loudly blurting out:
"Daddy, what's that sign?"
Me; which one?
"Dildo king.de"
Me: we are NOT googling that, together.
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Jun 14
Piles of cheese and bread. Appears the German's are still singing the song of his People for breakfast.
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Jun 13
Me: I'd like a coffee that's tasty, tiny, so I look like I'm using dolls house cups and string enough to test positive on next year's medical.
Ze Germans: "vee got you"
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Matt retweeted
Jun 13
Not quite Rupert, there was a similar energy at Nuremberg in 1938.
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Jun 13
Daddy my feet hurt?
Me: (checks where been) "might explain it mate..." Did the same yesterday too.
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Jun 13
Daddy what's that?
Me: it's music videos mate
What are they?
Me: what's on MTV
What's MTV?
Me: fuck, erm, was like YouTube and Xzibit presented stuff.
Who's Xzibit?
Me: fuck me, I'm old.
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