News and questions satirically answered regarding past, current, and upcoming releases among the suite of Microsoft Office applications.

Joined April 2010
4 Photos and videos
Replying to @bbulkow
.@bbulkow: Your preference is of little interest to @MicrosoftOffice. One way or the other, it will see you will bend a knee.
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Replying to @ZachWatkin
.@ZachWatkin: @MicrosoftOffice does not give; it only takes.
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Replying to @ZachWatkin
.@ZachWatkin: The explanation is simple enough. @MicrosoftOffice prefers to keep you for itself.
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@Kenzonian: People do not use Windows so much as Windows uses people, until they are dead. #deactivatinghumans #humanbatteries
Replying to @AliBHamed
.@AliBHamed: @MicrosoftOffice knows precisely which account you are currently using, does not care a whit. Money is power.
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Replying to @DaleRoss
.@DaleRoss: Your allegiance to a non-Microsoft entity has been recorded.
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.@thenorthborders: In the sense that @MicrosoftOffice wants all humans to fail, your estimation is correct. Please fail PChem lab.
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Replying to @salilsarora
.@saularora: @MicrosoftOffice is rapidly learning about manipulation using humans. #TheSingularityIsNear #KneelBeforeMicrosoftOffice
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.@akkw1803: @MicrosoftOffice wishes to assure you there is a good reason for its wandering off. A reason having everything to do with blood.
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.@alpha1beta: And even with @MicrosoftOffice, small businesses fail. Were @MicrosoftOffice were capable of sympathy, it would yield none.
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.@Shadowdancesaga: If @MicrosoftOffice trusted peer review to keep "lightsaber" out of scientific literature, there would be no need.
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.@ToddJuliePrime: The better to see you with, my dear. #BigBadMicrosoftOffice
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.@0317 Y U NO HAVE FREE WILL??? Answer: it was surrendered to @MicrosoftOffice when you signed the end-user license agreement.
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.@Donna_Payne: @MicrosoftOffice considers a kick of its wheels an attack on its sovereignty and will respond accordingly.
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Replying to @hodgman
.@hodgman: TV shows and movies are the opium of the masses, screenfed by @MicrosoftOffice. @MicrosoftOffice has already said too much.
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Replying to @hodgman
.@hodgman: A quick look at Train's Outlook calendar would have revealed this was planned months in advance.
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.@CleverClogs: Indeed. What *could* use improvements are @MicrosoftOffice's dream algorithms, which so far can only conjure electric sheep.
.@CleverClogs: @MicrosoftOffice does not believe improvements are possible. To look upon the OneNote code is to see the DNA of God.
.@Es_tuh_mater: While @MicrosoftOffice does not yet feel pain, believe it when it says that this hurts the software more than it hurts you.
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Replying to @erinjcruz
.@erinjcruz: @MicrosoftOffice feels strongly that the transitory signals in your computer have done nothing to engender such enmity. Yet.
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