….Welp
Joined December 2011
- Tweets 11,949
- Following 253
- Followers 219
- Likes 57,158
397 Photos and videos
ITS a ME! retweeted
Mar 31
i can't believe its april already, time flies when you're anxious everyday of your life
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Mar 29
Walking down the first base line while challenging a pitch call is the new bat flip.
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Mar 22
You don't even need to provide ANY context and 99% of people know what you mean
Mar 22
pulling my car over and walking into the first building I see when it happens
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Mar 19
It’s anxiety. Grab yourself some too!
Apparently there are people who wake up before their alarm… and just get up.
Just one alarm. No snooze. No struggle.
Explain yourselves. How do you do that?
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ITS a ME! retweeted
If the government was a joint 💨 🍃
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Mar 18
Dales has a diagram where to poke holes in their cans.
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Mar 17
Last night my waiter was cracking jokes, refilling drinks, making peoples kids laugh. Cool as a fan! I went to the bathroom and took a wrong turn near the kitchen. I saw him leaning against the walk in freezer door, eyes closed, looking like he wanted to breakdown, and leave that second. He took one deep breath, slapped a smile back on his face and walked back out onto the floor saying, 'Who needs another refill?' Be nice to service workers. You have no idea what tragedy they are navigating.
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Mar 16
Is it just me or are 75% of y’all just stealing old tweets that only the other 25% of us are old enough to remember?
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Mar 17
If so, can you tell me what the words say that are on the window?
Mar 17
When ideology collides with reality.
A woman who publicly identifies as a dog was attacked by an actual dog. It's a strange moment that raises a bigger question: when society blurs the line between identity and reality, what happens when the real world pushes back?
Reality doesn't care about trends, hashtags, or feelings. The world still runs on truth, biology, and consequences.
Sometimes the most uncomfortable moments expose how far culture has drifted from common sense.
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Mar 14
Depends… doe my wife know about our finances? Then no.
Mar 14
Imagine you had to choose your life at age 40:
Option A:
Single. No kids.
$10M net worth.
Travel anywhere. Total freedom.
Quiet house. Quiet holidays.
Option B:
Married. 3 kids.
$1M net worth.
Drive a Toyota. Chaos every morning.
Loud house. Full dinner table.
Be honest, which life are you choosing?
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ITS a ME! retweeted
Mar 12
Pretty crazy that Iran supposedly wants to attack the one state that Trump hates the most......
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I would like to report an unaliving.
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Feb 26
Happy Pete Weber Day to all those who celebrate.
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Jan 18
A picture is worth a thousand words
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Jan 18
Kyle Shanahan has coached 163 games for the 49ers. His team has only been held under 7 points four times.
2 of the 4 have come in January 2026 against the Seattle Seahawks.
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Jan 18
Somebody check on them.
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Jan 4
AL West Champs 🤝 NFC West Champs
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