MSc, BSc, Bronze swimming certificate and once won a football from Victor comic in 1984
Joined February 2018
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Listening to the orgasmic moans coming from the pundits, we've just won the World cup yea?
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John Terry to change into his replica kit and sneak on undetected in the second half
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Jun 15
England kit man to wheel out the dentist's chair for tomorrow nights hydration break
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Jun 15
FIFA to lobby the UN too create a load more countries.
The next world cup will have 512 teams and take three years to complete
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Jun 15
Me and the lads watching Metallica in our makeshift bin bag 'rain ponchos' at Donnington '91
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Jun 14
Only a couple of days in, and absolutely demented with every TV ad having a tenuous football theme
'conquer your summer (and your thrush) with the official pessary of the World Cup!!'
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Jun 12
Every time I see this stupid ad on here I get excited because I think it's about Devo
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Jun 12
Corralled a baby owl from the middle of the road, using my hoodie like a toreador
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Jun 7
TIL not to make a light-hearted comment about Paul McCartney.
Jesus his fans make the Warhammer lot look like they can take a joke
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Jun 5
'what do you mean I've given up?'
*Puts on socks I got in a Lynx gift set Xmas present*
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May 29
Why sue a company whose entire customer base is lawyers?
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May 28
M&S avocado oil crisps with my spinach and feta wrap for my dinner
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May 28
My house after my Border Collie has been 'herding' flies in this stupid weather
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May 25
Murrell bought a Jaguar iPace, Volkswagen Golf and motorhome with embezzled funds...
...oh and a copy of Grand Theft Auto V
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May 24
They've changed the multipack cans of caffeine free Pepsi max from black to gold. It took until Sunday for something exciting to happen in my life but there you go.
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