Joined August 2012
- Tweets 36,888
- Following 1,786
- Followers 834
- Likes 206,907
5,197 Photos and videos
"set your microwave to medium power". ....lol, no?
Who does that microwave think he's fooling with different "power settings"?
Pants 'oops all piss' edition retweeted
Shrek'd up on a Tuesday
6
14
64
1,001
Who does that microwave think he's fooling with different "power settings"?
26
Pants 'oops all piss' edition retweeted
Jun 15
I recently discovered that if you close your eyes and simply allow your mind to wander you can “scroll” through your own personalized feed of thoughts aka “posts” follow me for more life hacks the algorithm doesn’t want you to know
3
5
24
566
Pants 'oops all piss' edition retweeted
been a month since anyone acknowledged their fat fucking testicles what the fuck
1
5
956
IDF gunna wipe the whole map fr
FIFA is proposing that the opening match of their upcoming under-15s football festival should be Palestine against Israel. (via The NYT)
(nytimes.com/athletic/7360929…)
4
56
Never forget 🙏
im watching it in a world without charlie kirk
1
44
Pants 'oops all piss' edition retweeted
it's time to address the elephant in the room. the 2026 world cup feels hollow and empty. something has got to be done but i dont know how i can go another match while knowing
1
1
1
22
SALAD CREAM
3
6
381
Even his closest homies are turning on him 😭
Jun 14
Elmo teach me not to eat trophy. Me teach Elmo to pick a team. 💙🧡
3
83
Pants 'oops all piss' edition retweeted
Jun 14
Danhausen stronger than Darth Vader confirmed.
Jun 14
The Force is with us tonight (and so is Anakin!)
Hayden Christensen is in the building tonight ✨
93
1,021
13,191
395,147
Me, every Saturday -
i horny post one time on a saturday night and ppl don't like it
3
81
Pants 'oops all piss' edition retweeted
for the record, my opinion stands.
2
7
103
All my homies hate pale breakfast sausages
Europeans have pale breakfast sausages and that's why they are good at soccer. No other reason to get up in the morning 😔
1
90
Europeans have pale breakfast sausages and that's why they are good at soccer. No other reason to get up in the morning 😔
3
131
Pants 'oops all piss' edition retweeted
Jun 12
Doing the Woody Woodpecker laugh when I bust.
1
1
6
98