If you’re a trillionaire and you don’t wake up everyday with the desire to put a plate of food in front of every starving child across the entire world… then you are beneath contempt.

“When our genes could not store all the information necessary for survival, we slowly invented brains. But then the time came, perhaps ten thousand years ago, when we needed to know more than could conveniently be contained in brains. So we learned to stockpile enormous quantities of information outside our bodies. We are the only species on the planet, so far as we know, to have invented a communal memory stored neither in our genes nor in our brains. The warehouse of that memory is called the library. A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called ‘leaves’) imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person - perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic.” — Carl Sagan

This is true.

Stunning shots!

We know you have a lot on your plate, so this is coming from a place of support... Use 'Scot-free' instead of 'Scotch-free.' Use ‘shoo-in’ instead of ‘shoe-in.’ Use ‘piqued my interest’ instead of ‘peaked my interest.’ Use ‘case in point’ instead of ‘case and point.’

How, exactly, does one 'fire' a water cannon? @BBCNews

Mein Covfefe

Only reason these Yanks wanted the World Cup was that they heard a rumour the knockout rounds could end with a shoot out.

"But why are the kids crying?" And the kids will say: "Haven't you heard? Rik is dead! The People's Poet is dead!" remembering Rik Mayall........

That’s a cry for help if ever I’ve seen one.

Nigel Farage Listens to the News

Please do keep an eye on my X page over the weekend. I have some incredible threads on the way, including first-hand accounts of parachute jumps into Normandy. You won't read about them anywhere else! Do 'Follow' along: @DrHelenFry

I don’t know who this bloke is, but he looks like he’s stepped straight out of a different era. The suit. The hat. The broom. The confidence. A proper throwback to an England that valued character, individuality and a bit of class.

Google are about to release ONE BILLION GAY mosquitos in FLORIDA and CALIFORNIA to sting people and make them gay.

Gotta love how recipe comments are like: I replaced the sugar with turkey drippings and the flour with dandelions. It said to fold ingredients in gently but I stirred them with a pogo stick and after all that work the recipe tasted like tin cans. Zero stars.

Just needs some Gitanes sponsorship now.

bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2d2… Who writes this tripe? "Government plans better WiFi for trains." @BBCNews

A quick plea to those with gardens: I have several flower pot saucers filled with water dotted around mine and one of my regular hedgehogs turned up early and ran straight to one. Obviously gagging in this heat. Please leave water at ground level for them!

All elephants celebrate a new baby with great fanfare, but our ex-orphans take it to the next level. Perhaps it is because they didn’t grow up in the wild, witnessing births within their natal herd. It has become a time-honoured tradition for ex-orphans to return ‘home’ to our stockades within days or even hours of giving birth, bursting with pride and eager to show off their new addition to the people who raised them. But, when an ex-orphan brings their new calf home, do they let our Keepers near? Some do, the choice is always theirs. Emily was the first of our Nursery-reared orphans to return with a wild-born calf, and she was confident enough to share her baby with the Keepers who had raised her. The most trusting examples are the ex-orphans who've returned to give birth at the Stockades - a miracle we've seen unfold twice. Emily is one of them. Melia is the other: sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/n…

Ibuprofen is more effective than Jesus. Jesus is the only answer to every stupid question!