For all the parents out there dealing with a decision... let me give you another perspective
In 2018 my wife and I went in for our 20? week ultra sound at Beth Israel in Boston... the rep was very quiet the whole time, something seemed off. My wife & I were first time parents... didn't have much context. The doctor pulled us into her office and told us our sons nuchal fold was abnormally large... she went on to say there is a significant increased chance of Down Syndrome and even Turner's syndrome... talked about options to terminate the pregnancy. My wife was inconsolable, rightly so ... even thinking about it now brings back a lot of heavy emotions because of how hard of a day it was... hard...
I did a lot of research on the topic ... my wife & I prayed non stop about it. All we could do. The doctors wanted to do an amniocentesis which has its own host of risks..run more tests...
We came to the conclusion, which was not easy... it didn't matter... no amnio, no more tests.... I felt in my soul the Lord's plan was perfect and if our son was going to have Down Syndrome we would love him and shepherd him through this world the best we could. We get what we get. Anything from the Lord was a BLESSING and I was not going to point my finger at Him
Fast forward to today... our son is going to be 8 in the fall. He is perfect. Just hit a homerun the other day... a much better baseball player than I was at his age. My best friend
I share this deeply personal story for nothing more than to give just ONE parent hope... the Lord's plan is perfect... stay the course
This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21.
The choice was not made lightly. We really appreciate all of the personal stories that you guys shared with us, especially the unconditional support we received from fans with no matter what we decided.
I know some of you may be very disappointed to hear this news. We are devastated. This has been extremely traumatic for both of us, especially Ashley.
She underwent the procedure earlier this week and is on the mend. Thankfully, everything went smoothly, but emotionally we are drained.
Trisomy 21, also known as Down Syndrome, is caused by an extra chromosome. It is caused by an error in cell division, like a glitch. The odds of a baby having it is 1 in 1000.
When I first confronted this news, I was shocked but optimistic. If they’re a little slow intellectually, then we’ll make it work. I signed on to be a parent, come what may…but I just didn’t fully understand what Down Syndrome entailed.
Once we made it public, it became clear that MOST people don’t know what Down Syndrome entails (and no, it’s not the same as Autism):
50% of babies with DS have heart defects. 75% will have hearing challenges. Over 50% will have vision problems. Impaired immune function, developmental disabilities, learning disabilities, delayed physical development, poor muscle tone, structural issues with face, decreased lifespan, etc…Sadly, the list is long, feel free to look it up…Down Syndome isn’t a “blessing”, it is objectively shitty from a health perspective.
I didn’t realize just how rough it is for the child, let alone the family…more often than not, they would be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life.
The miscarriage risk is also close to 50%, which made matters worse…they may never see the light of day and it puts Ashley further at risk.
We spoke with doctors, friends, family and genetic counselors and learned that up to 90% of women terminate their pregnancy after learning the baby has Trisomy 21.
This was WAY higher than I expected, I thought it would be lower given that I hear so many say they kept or would keep the baby. I believe that’s because most terminations happen privately, it feels shameful. A lot of judgment being cast.
You never think you’d be in this type of situation until it happens to you and then things change.
To all of my fans who have weighed in on this topic who have Autism, Down Syndrome or any other conditions…we appreciate you. You matter a lot and we’re glad you’re here. I commend you and your families for having the strength and courage to push forward.
As for us, we made a difficult decision that we believe in the long-run will be beneficial for our family. Thankfully, we had a choice.
It will take a little time to move on, but we are excited to try again in the future and hopefully have a better outcome.
Love you guys & thank you for understanding. ❤️