THE GREAT AUSSIE TOSSER
- A SPECIES ENDANGERED
Once upon a time, we had a game.
Simple. Honest. Two coins, a kip,
and a ring of mates.
No apps. No odds. No middlemen.
Just trust, chance, and honour.
They called him the Tosser.
And he was king for a day.
One day only.
ANZAC Day
- when they let the tradition breathe,
draped in flags and reverence.
But try to play the same game the next day,
and it's illegal.
$10,000 fine.
Not because you hurt anyone.
Not because it’s unfair.
But because no one’s taking a cut.
Two-up isn’t banned because it’s dangerous.
It’s banned because it’s free.
Now compare that to the sport
they prop up like a national altar -
the shiny, rigged,
corporate circus they call 'entertainment.'
Boxing? Bought.
Cricket? Controlled.
Racing? Rigged six ways to Saturday.
Multi-leg markets, sponsored stats,
and a thousand ways to lose to a computer.
They call that legal.
They call that fair.
Because behind the curtain, it’s not sport -
it’s a Money-Go-Round
with government protection.
Everyone’s skimming:
the bookies, the promoters,
the regulators.
Even the ATO gets a taste.
But the Aussie Tosser?
He doesn’t pay protection money.
He doesn’t offer data.
He doesn’t feed the beast.
So they outlawed him.
Because in a world built on control,
chance is rebellion.
And rebellion -
even if it’s just two coins in the air -
it must be crushed.
They’ll tell you it’s about
'responsible gambling.'
They’ll mumble something
about harm reduction.
But here’s the truth:
If it feeds their system - it’s legal.
If it bypasses their rake - it’s criminal.
This country’s built a racket
so clean it wears a suit.
Pokies in every pub? Legal.
Corporate sportsbooks
flooding footy broadcasts? Legal.
Tabcorp multi-platform
betting networks with live odds
on kids’ sports? Legal.
But flip two coins with your mates?
Now you’re a criminal.
Why?
Because there’s 'no data to sell.'
No algorithm to track.
No banker, sponsor,
or tax office clipping the ticket.
You just 'play'.
You just 'trust'.
And that is the one thing they can’t allow -
'free exchange, unmonitored risk,
real-world bonding.'
See, they don’t care if you lose.
They only care
if 'they' don’t win
'something off your loss'
It’s not gambling they hate -
It’s 'unregulated freedom'.
So they flood you with 'safe' addictions:
Pokies that light up like slot-machine meth.
Sports odds shoved between every goal
and every beer ad.
Casino ads disguised as mateship.
They rig the arena,
sell you a ticket,
and call it patriotism.
But toss a coin in a ring with no rake?
'That’s too dangerous.'
Because deep down, they know:
'If enough Aussies started playing
their own games again -
they’d stop playing the system’s.'
NEWS: We’re cutting gambling ads on TV, radio, online and on the field.