40 Things I Learnt At 40 (11-20)
11. To err is human but to forgive is… human too! Forgive, but don’t make an exception for a friend’s treachery, for it is motivated by envy. Forgiveness to a treacherous friend should never be accompanied by a restoration of personal access, else you’ll pay for it in heavier terms.
12. It doesn’t matter what people in your personal life say to you in your presence; what matters is what they say — especially what they do — about you in your absence.
13. And all is dust, remember this. The topmost human frailty is the propensity to think we will live infinitely. Our days in life are indeed finite; I’ve been shocked by the sheer number of people who detest hearing this. Spending your entire life avoiding this truth will not increase your years by an extra second!
14. Money will guarantee you comfort — not happiness. Neither is bad as an ambition; the tragedy is miscalculating the source of the latter.
15. When in trouble and needing help, don’t go compiling a list of people you have been good to in the past, thinking they might want to bail you out. ‘One good turn deserves another’ is, in practice, alien to most people. Most people have short memories; when the chips are down, only a few will remember your past kindness. I learnt this the hard way, by the way.
16. One of the greatest gifts to oneself is self-awareness. Possessing it means nobody can emasculate you by exaggerating your weaknesses; you know them already. It also means nobody can be obsequious to you by magnifying your strengths; you know them already too.
17. Every strength has a weakness component, and every weakness has a strength component. For that reason, the human search for perfection in interpersonal relationships is Utopian.
18. On Entrepreneurship
The most useful resource you need to convert an idea into a physical business is not money (It isn’t even one of your top five needs!); it’s conviction.
19. On Career Choices
“Salary is the bribe they pay you to build their dreams”? That’s a lie, one of the worst well-worn career lies in history! Actually, salary is the allowance they pay you to build your own dreams. If your current job is not equipping you with the skills to drive you towards your planned career trajectory in paid employment or subsequently building your own dreams, then that’s on you. You either accepted the wrong job offer or you spent your time there quiet-quitting.
20. On Romantic Love
The ideal love is one where the first argument of the two people involved is who loves the other more. “I love you more than you love me.” “No, I’m the one who loves you more.” If you ever find that kind of love, better keep it! If you’re lucky, you’ll find only one of such in your lifetime. The luckiest of the luckiest humans will only find it twice. Some won’t find it even once.