I took the brightest tulips I could find to @BethMatthewsz. It was peaceful in the sunshine. Sending all my love to @chrisma79709588 @lucymatthews13 @SamMcCartney @LLLChick #BethsArmy

There are 47 movies on NHS TV - all to try and distract me from the fact that I'm having a scan, which will tell me when I'm going to die. I've chosen Black Widow and will finish it in three months. #cancer #stage4cancer #fuckcancer

To help you get the best #pickybits I went to Waitrose, Co-Op, Asda, Aldi, Morrisons, Lidl, Tesco, Iceland, Marks and Spencer, and Sainsbury's, to discover which is the best place to get potato salad these days. Here's the answer in @Daily_Express express.co.uk/life-style/foo…

The @LidlGB advert is awful

A few years ago David Hockney told us he loved The Sun. So we asked him if he fancied redesigning our logo for a special one off paper. He said he did…. RIP to a true legend

Thanks cancer #fuckcancer

I didn't expect to hear Lorraine say "front bottom" when talking about a Madonna video at 9.30am on a Tuesday morning.

So @lsqtheatre what are people supposed to do if they are in a couple and so don't want to buy three tickets?

The price of Freddos seem okay now

I was today years old when I learned the Scream series of films are supposed to be horror movies. I always used to think they were post-modern deconstructions of the genre.

Is #TheWayOut the show that finally makes TV producers aware that mildly funny comedians are only amusing when repeating memorised jokes? They definitely don't make hilarious TV.

Well done to #SundayBrunch Tim and Simon for asking a guest how she got into her job without explaining what her job is.

21 years ago, I sat in a prison cell and learned I was pregnant. Every sign pointed toward abortion. Every circumstance said this baby would never have a chance. But I chose life. I saw value in my daughter before anyone else could. What I didn’t know was that her birth would help change laws in America. Fifteen years after I gave birth while chained to a hospital bed with a sheriff standing watch, that story reached the highest levels of government. And @POTUS granted me a full and unconditional pardon and signed legislation ending the shackling of women during childbirth in federal prisons. Today, that same baby walked across the stage as a graduate of MIT. From a prison birth to one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Never let your circumstances determine someone’s worth. There is value in life. There is purpose in every child. Go, baby. The world is yours. ❤️🎓 #MIT #Graduation #ChooseLife #Redemption #SecondChances #ValueInLife

The good news is @coopuk has fixed its site, so it doesn't crash when trying to choose groceries. The bad news is it no longer understands the "address" part so you can never get to the payment section.

Some days I think "live podcasts" are worse than cancer

I miss the days when TikTok wasn't a home shopping channel #justsaying

I'm very disappointed to have been left out of the England World Cup squad.

If it was Jackie Weaver people would say "read the standing orders and understand them". Instead, I'll ask @MiekaSmiles if new councillors should have more training before their first meeting.

Paging @colinnorth83

I didn't understand the auctioneer's hair #bargainhunt Had he painted it black?