I think some people often misplace what a war really is when it's upon a fantasy/fictional setting and that's a given really, since it is media, but one doesn't need to be very bright to know when any lethal conflict is happening, the safest thing to do is create distance.
I've read people even go as far to say Rhaena being sent to the Vale is "proof' she wasn't cared for in-books, when it's the contrary? Baela stays back, the words chosen are "refused to" yet when Nyra goes to KL, Baela is left again, and ends up having her dragon eaten.