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Joined September 2011
- Tweets 46,951
- Following 4,062
- Followers 5,130
- Likes 74,177
2,108 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
2 May 2019
If you ain't down with fractals, I feel bad for you, son
I've got 99 problems, and 99 smaller problems inside of each one
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
Jun 14
beavers are so funny why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering
Jun 14
beavers are the best
Community note
This video is AI generated. Key indicators include visual artifacts visible in the opening frames consistent with AI video generation, and the speaking cadence of individuals in the video is consistent with AI-generated audio.
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
Jun 13
Partying with Scottish guys in Boston. Incredible energy. Can't understand a single word
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
Jun 11
NAHHH 😭
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Jun 12
And the blessings were ones were the ones I got
To keep as I grew strong
And the days that opened up
Until my whole life could belong! ❤️
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Jun 12
10 years ago I was measuring my progress by how many Corolla-loads it took to move.
Now I measure my progress by how few Camry-loads it takes.
Still under the cover of darkness, always.
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
Jun 10
I can understand why Italians saw this and decided to invent unemployment
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Jun 11
Everyone thinks they have good grip strength until they try to open a fresh pint of Talenti Gelato.
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Eating pizza on the floor hits different when you OWN THE FLOOR
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Suddenly realized: “Why would I bring an old bed to a new place when I could leave ten years of tears and exes on the curb for trash day.”
This must be what my psychic friend meant by “protect your energy.”
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
animal collective could do little lion man but mumford and son could never do for reverend green
on strawberry jam delete this rn
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
Girl I’m bored let’s romanticize a building we’ve walked past 15000 times
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Yea I thought this for a while this winter, than it turned out my doorbell buzzer was vibrating because it was so cold out.
Jun 4
Signs you might have ADHD that nobody talks about:
You can hear electricity. Like, actually hear the hum of lights and appliances. You thought everyone could until you mentioned it and people looked at you like you'd grown a second head.
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I want to frame this, magnificent composition.
Jun 5
Someone abandoned their slice of cheese pizza at The Charles River Dam tonight.
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I went to Tin Tin Buffet in Brighton while sober today for maybe the first time ever. It still goes just as hard when you’re not day drinking, fyi.
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
Jun 4
I’m convinced every fifth restaurant in Allston is now a hotpot spot.
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Lauren Pespisa retweeted
Jun 3
Trump hasn’t made a public appearance in 8 days. This after an unscheduled visit to the hospital- because he “likes getting check ups.” Thank God Jake Tapper (or as I like to call him- the Brick Tamland of his generation) is on the case hunting down clues in a book about my mom’s experience as First Lady four years ago.
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