Florida isn’t for everyone — and that’s exactly why we like it. We let grown men be grown men, gators be gators, and parents raise their own damn kids. While blue states ban plastic straws and teach little kids they can pick their gender, we’re out here actually living free. If that makes us crazy… then crazy seems to be working just fine.

@LauraLoomer is from Arizona. @RogerJStoneJr is from Connecticut. @RonDeSantis is from Florida. Only one speaks for us. Florida First | Florida Only

Just want to be clear. ⚠️ I get the frustration a lot of you feel — I really do. But when the comments turn into nonstop slurs, blanket hatred, and name-calling, I’m done with it. I started this page to laugh, joke about Florida shit, and have real conversations. I started as a liberal, went independent, and now I’m somewhere slightly left of far right. I’m open to changing my mind. But if your only contribution is acting like a toxic clown, you’re getting blocked. Simple as that. Keep it classy, biological boys and girls.👍

Since Marco Rubio’s already handling half the jobs in Washington, can we just slide him into the Florida governor’s mansion for a bit while we find somebody better than Byron Donalds? 🤔

🚨 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: PELICANS AREN’T YOUR FRIENDS — THEY'RE BASICALLY WINGED LIBERALS WITH BEAKS🚨 These soulless feathered sociopaths are nature’s Democrats — always greedy, zero boundaries, and dead certain everything you own belongs to them. Watch the video. One of these winged bureaucrats tries to swallow a blue-haired lady’s fake service dog whole. Ultimate progressive showdown: overreaching bird completely ignoring personal space to redistribute someone’s pet. Another one vacuums down a whole family of rabbits like it’s a secret drag Queen story hour. They’ll even cannibalize their own kind the second it fits, like a slightly smarter feathered Elizabeth Warren. Keep your emotional support Chihuahua back in Cincinnati, Tonto. These mindless winged vacuums don’t do private property or restraint. They’ll swallow it whole. 🐦❌🐶

Nature is healing. We got two absolute death tanks playing a round of toothy cuffs right in front of the porta-potties like it’s a parking lot UFC fight. One gator, one croc, full WWE main event — jaws locked, rolling around on the asphalt trying to figure out who gets first dibs on the next fat Yankee crying in the shitter. The crow in the background is just refereeing this hate crime like a professional. If you’re from Ohio or New York and think these are just cute forbidden swamp puppies you can pet, please go stick your hand in one’s mouth so natural selection can finally cook. Turns out they were evenly matched. Both walked off like gentlemen once they realized the tourist inside was taking too long. Even lizards got table manners — nobody wants that after a long poop. Florida is not a real place. Stay in your hotel room. 🐊

This was a damn good response — thanks to everyone who dropped solid suggestions. I’ve already started checking some of these spots out. Definitely bookmarking this one as a travel guide. Appreciate y’all. 😎🏖️

The Circus is Leaving Town: One Pride Flag at a Time 🎪👋 ​Spotted on a Florida Ring cam: an absolute pint-sized legend doing the Lord’s work and cleaning up the neighborhood. ​Watch this kid effortlessly confiscate a "Progress Pride" flag from a front porch. Apparently, the homeowner thinks flying the modern corporate rainbow makes her the main character, but this kid isn’t having it. ​The best part? The sheer, unhinged panic of this Snow-Karen running out barefoot, screeching into the void like her entire identity just got carried down the sidewalk. She's an angry, barefoot AWFL realizing her virtue-signaling shield has been completely neutralized by a local kid with no fear and a passion for community beautification. ​Floridians are tired of the constant cultural circus, but while the adults are busy complaining on Facebook, the youth are actually out there taking out the trash. Not all heroes wear capes—some wear shorts, flip-flops, and a look of pure determination. ​Keep Florida beautiful. ☀️🌴

I welcome discussion and conversation, and I don't expect everyone to constantly agree; that's what makes us unique. However, when someone visits my page and starts raging and insulting anyone who doesn't hold the exact same opinions, I have to set a boundary. There's already too much hate in the world.

Everyone keeps asking who I’m backing for Governor. Let’s stop playing nice and lay the cards on the table. First off, I am NOT voting for Byron Donalds in the primary. 🛑 Look, I know he’s been in Florida for a while now, but the guy still can’t even swim. If a stiff gulf breeze puts you in the danger zone, you aren't ready to run the Sunshine State. We don’t need a New York transplant using Tallahassee as a glorified airport lounge for his D.C. career. Hard pass. Right now, my money is on Jay Collins. The guy is a literal Green Beret combat vet. He’s taken real hits for this country and still stands tall. That’s the exact brand of grit we need to keep Florida free. But we need to talk about the absolute toddlers in the back row. I see too many "conservatives" crying that they’ll sit on their hands in November if their specific, hand-picked candidate doesn’t win the primary. Grow up. Ron DeSantis didn’t trade punches with the entire media and corporate establishment for eight years just for us to hand the keys to a Democrat because somebody got their feelings hurt. If Donalds wins the primary? Yes, I’ll reluctantly vote for him. Why? Because keeping a liberal out of the governor’s mansion is infinitely more important than my personal beef. Fight like hell for your guy in the primary. But come November, we show up, we vote, and we win. No excuses, no whining. 👍

DeSantis continues to be the gold standard. @FloridaGOP is cowering from a debate because they know they went all in too fast behind Donalds. Give up the pride and admit you're wrong. We still have time to make this right. 👍

If we could just get the socks-and-slides crowd to behave and the socks-and-sandals weirdos to stay the hell home, we’d basically have a perfect utopia. Simple solutions for a simple people. 🤷

Just uncovered a major federal conspiracy at the local 7-Eleven. ​Spotted this sun-tinted looney tune today. Forget microchips in vaccines; the Miami FBI apparently went full Tony Stark and illegally installed actual cameras INSIDE his body. 🤯 He’s been holding it down for 12 years, refuses financial help, and just wants Uncle Sam to hit him up on Facebook for the exposé of the century. ​At this point, who am I to doubt him? The government does weird things. Keep fighting the good fight, Inspector Artilugio, I'll look for the livestream. 😂

Nothing says “romantic South Florida evening” like a nice nighttime swim with your girl… until a 6-foot prehistoric pervert decides to crash the twosome and turn it into a threesome. 😳 Mr. Soy immediately bails, leaving his lady behind to fend for herself while he sprints off to grab his iPhone and Google “how to be a man.” Ladies, any real Florida Man would’ve already grabbed that swamp tank, tossed it back to the swamp, cracked a beer, and got back to business. This is exactly why the beta male will never measure up down here. Stay in Portland with your Tofu & pronouns.🐊😂

I call bullshit! I travel every corner of this state monthly — Panhandle to the Keys. Almost everyone I talk to who actually sounds like a real Floridian does not want Byron. Florida First. Florida only. To the transplants pushing this: Assimilate or kick rocks. We don’t need another New York import trying to run our state. 🖕

I've detected nothing false here...

Wife: “Honey, we really don’t have time to stop…” Me: One does not simply "drive past" Bass Pro Shops. 😒 Now I just gotta figure out how to explain to her why this AMS Bowfishing Retriever Pro Kit is an absolute necessity for surviving the upcoming zombie apocalypse. Look, it’s not about if the zombies come… it’s about being ready when they do. I’m just out here trying to protect this family. She just doesn’t understand the vision yet...

You can't spell speedo without peedo... 🤔

This is exactly what I’m talking about. Clearwater Police got tipped off about a planned teen takeover last night and shut that mess down before it could even pop off. 🚨 This ain’t Portland. Our cops don’t stand down — they stand up. The second these fools realized the police were actually there to do their job, they suddenly “ain’t do nothin’” real quick. Florida is a law and order state. That teen takeover mess has no place here. Keep that ghetto crap up north. We’re not playing that game. Bye Felecia 👋