Joined April 2012
- Tweets 15,668
- Following 4,424
- Followers 5,007
- Likes 15,407
171 Photos and videos
Alex retweeted
14 Jun 2017
[Zombies and Boys in the Hood]
"No really doe, can you really git da virus from lettin em suck on yo dick?
Ya'll just tryna scare me."
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Alex retweeted
13 Mar 2017
If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't. I'd sleep more.
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Alex retweeted
13 Mar 2017
I'm at my most heroic when I protect my girlfriend from fatty foods by eating them to remove temptation.
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Alex retweeted
13 Mar 2017
No I'm not wearing a brown bag over my face because I'm ugly. I'm wearing it because I'm embarassed to be seen with you.
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Alex retweeted
13 Mar 2017
If you look close you'll notice that my beard is made of Mashed Potatoes.
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Alex retweeted
13 Mar 2017
Thought a new car would get me chicks. Turns out I'm just ugly.
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Alex retweeted
13 Mar 2017
I have a cold. My wife really gets the wrong idea when I've got so many crumpled up tissues next to my bed.
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Alex retweeted
21 Dec 2016
McDonald's are the only Fries that have a time limit.
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Alex retweeted
14 Jan 2017
You're entitled to your own opinions, even if you're an idiot and always wrong.
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Alex retweeted
20 Jan 2017
How many calories does trying to find a comfortable way to lay in bed burn?
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Alex retweeted
24 Feb 2017
You know you're an alcoholic when you've got your own reserved Bar stool.
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Alex retweeted
6 Mar 2017
"No regrets" my ass. I've got a shit ton of stuff I wish I could do over.
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Alex retweeted
7 Mar 2017
You're playing a dangerous game trying to wake me up. It better be for free beer, or tacos.
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Alex retweeted
7 Mar 2017
Twitter logic:
For every Follower, there is an Unfollower.
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Alex retweeted
16 Feb 2017
Million dollar idea: A remote controlled mini Beer Fridge.
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Alex retweeted
3 Mar 2017
So high I ate a pizza without cooking it first.
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