@TexasHumor profile picture
Texas Humor @TexasHumor

I have chili in my veins and a snake in my boot.

Joined October 2010
  • Tweets 34,240
  • Following 200
  • Followers 689,363
7,707 Photos and videos
Buc-ee’s be like “you can hold it”
NASA Earth
@NASAEarth
Apr 6
New record🥇 The Artemis II astronauts are now farther from Earth than humans have ever been! At 1:57 p.m. EDT, they broke the record set by Apollo 13 in 1970. Their journey around the far side of the Moon today will take them a maximum distance of 252,752 miles from Earth.
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Texas Humor retweeted
J.B. Sauceda
@jaybsauceda
Mar 27
If you’ll be in the DFW area tomorrow, come say howdy. I’ll be in Grand Prairie for TCR Fest. - 100 vendors - Music from Nikki Lane & more - Classic car show - A parade at 11 - A prairie dog eating contest And great weather!
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Me: “Can I get a Dr Pepper?” Then: “all we have is Mr Pibb” Me:

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what it feels like trying to navigate the freeways in Dallas
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Never give up. You got this.
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If you see this, reply with your absolute Texas roadtrip music bangers. I’m making a playlist.
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Me when they bring out a large queso
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"SHE'S FROM TEXAS I CAN TELL BY THE WAY HES TWO STEPPIN ROUND THE ROOM"
mayerr
@ymmayerr
Mar 24
If someone offered you a million dollars to listen to just one artist for 48 hours straight, who would you choose ??
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Shoot, I'd do it for free.
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No one said Texas was easy. But it's worth it.
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Stopping at Buc-ee's just to get gas and instead spending $371 on home goods and assorted snacks
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@beyoumf
Mar 24
name an addiction worse than alcohol and drugs
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Texas Humor retweeted
alex@alexxalexalexxx
Mar 22
Get you a girl who can do both 😍
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Bring her bidi bidi back back
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I am a walking napkin
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Texas Humor
@TexasHumor
27 Aug 2025
I’m frustrated that I’m this frustrated.
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Dallas Cowboys: we are proud to have the worst team management in professional sports Dallas Mavericks: Hold Luka Doncic’s beer
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Texas Humor retweeted
J.B. Sauceda
@jaybsauceda
31 Jan 2025
Since everyone everywhere seem to be agreeing and getting along about everything else these days 🙃, the @TexasMonthly team decided now was the time to try to answer the question of "what are the official regions of Texas?" Thoughts? texasmonthly.com/being-texan…

The Ultimate Map of Texas Regions

Where does North Texas begin and end? Does Midland belong in “Big Bend Country”? We’ve got answers.

texasmonthly.com
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Texas Humor
@TexasHumor
31 Jan 2025
Some questions will never be answered
J.B. Sauceda
@jaybsauceda
31 Jan 2025
Is Midland in Big Bend? Is the RGV different than South Texas? Is Dallas or the Panhandle North Texas? Is the Hill Country the same as Central Texas? Where is El Paso? Defining the regions of Texas is like 1/2
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Texas Humor
@TexasHumor
30 Jan 2025
Lubbock is beautiful this time of year.
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Texas Humor
@TexasHumor
25 Jan 2025
It’s almost as if Jerry Jones likes for me to make fun of the Cowboys
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