Chads passing looks off as "game"? Outdated advice from "gurus" who haven't closed in hot girl in the post-covid era? AI-generated pick-up thread slop? If you're tired of crappy dating advice, you've come to the right place. 10 threads to help you level up your game🧵:

One of my fav clips as of late lol She went from rejecting him, to selling herself in 30 seconds…

How?

Qualification.

At the beginning, she’s downright rejecting him.

“Do you want to know my type? “It’s the opposite of you”

“You wouldn’t sleep with me?” “No”

He’s in a lesser position.

Next he’s trying to earn back brownie points.

Pivoting the conversation to be able to prove himself.

“What do you value?” “Follow through”

“Do you want to come on the podcast” “Here’s the date.”

Notice - 
Her decision still does not change here,

Even though he’s “checking off all her boxes”

Reason why is he’s still under her evaluation, selling himself.

He’s still qualifying to her.

Which makes her feel like she’s better.

Her attitude only changes, when the dynamic is flipped. (And super super key - notice how he incepts the qualification instead of being overt)

“I would never date you seriously”

“I think I need someone who is more of a homebody” It’s an expression of his own preferences, but also indirectly pointing at flaws.

He’s putting burden or fault on the girl. Needs to be subtle.

If overt,

Like the entire red pill “What do you bring to the table” blah blah, Message gets obfuscated by entitlement, bitterness, judgemental butthurt, and actually triggers her guard, ironically making her less likely to qualify herself.

You do not want that.

But all to say:

Positioning is intertwined with attraction. Nothing really changed about him in those 30 seconds.

Did he somehow get a sharper jawline? Did his voice get deeper? No.

It’s when he stopped selling himself, and pushed qualification that she flipped.

Positioning is all that changed here. That’s how powerful it is.

When questions are a display of dominance, not neediness: Asking questions is often seen as needy, but in certain scenarios it’s not.

Reason why - it’s not the question that is needy.

The metric that matters is the intent.

Are you asking the question because you don’t know what to say?

Or are you asking a question for another reason? They really can be sorted out into multiple different categories.

Sometimes asking questions can even be a power play, indicative of who’s in charge.

The person asking the question has the authority of the thread,

And the person answering is deferring.

Has nothing to do with status.

But with conversational authority that’s exerted.

Look at the video exchange.

The guy is trolling for content but the principles remain the same.

“Are you Arab”

Disinterested, a little bit blasé.

Responding earnestly under this circumstance is accepting that frame, which gives her thread authority.

Instead he goes “Are you Latina”

He doesn’t truly give af about the answer,

What’s being communicated more is “I don’t respond to low interest”.

“How do you know that?” 

Sassy attitude - is an exertion of entitlement. And responding normally here would grant her thread authority.

You’d have to match the energy, call it out, etc etc but earnestness loses.

So he responds w the same “How do you know that” - same signal: “I’m not answering you”

She then drops the attitude and you can notice she answers genuinely.

Entitlement is gone, ready to be more real.

Then later on - “English is your second language huh?” “How did you come to that conclusion genius?”

Both rhetorical to call the other person stupid in the form of a question.

All to say 
 Questions are not needy inherently. 
Intent and energy > the form of communication.

“Only use statements, questions are needy” <- emotionally illiterate.

He got her number without complimenting once: Very strong example of frame.

What is frame?

In this interaction, think of it as leadership and cause.

The more frame you possess, The more other people become reactive.

And the more value, status, and attraction is created from nothing.

You’re organically creating the same emotional effect as if you are a celebrity.

This is created through multiple things:

1 - low filter

He is like a narrator.

Observations, thoughts, questions, etc

“Did you get the Drake drink?” “I need to know how that drink is”

Everything that is in his purview is spoken out loud instantly.

There’s not really any sort of calculation or pre-plan.

“You you you” “Blonde” 

Sees, narrates, speaks.

Frame exists from the thoughts exerted outwards.

If these thoughts are withheld and filtered out, your “content real estate” expression throughput becomes too low. 2 - Leading Low filter then lends itself to being more of a leader.

He’s deciding what to talk about.

He’s instructing what to do.

“Come come come”

“Go ahead go ahead go ahead”

“Did you get the drake drink?” To the blonde.

“Have you had the drake drink?” To the friend

He is deciding who to talk to, and what to talk about.

Decisively, without needing anyone else to micromanage or contribute.

This is carrying the conversation burden. 3 - JUDGEMENT/OPINIONS This part is crucial.

Observations and low filter is a first step.

But they are more or less neutral and weightless.

What gives them more power is in unapologetic judgement.

Judgement, whether good or bad, is what reinforces the weight of your words. “But it’s in the drake cup” - judging her decision

“But you didn’t take the opportunity to get the drake drink” - more judgement And all together - Filterless, Leading, Judging Makes it so the entire interaction is through him.

He becomes the sun from which everything orbits around.

Frame expansion.

Cold approaching and IG closing a Swedish model: Opening vibe is great.

Assertive, uninhibited, curious tone.

The way he asks his question has more power than people’s statements. “How tall are you”

“Where are you from”

Very basic questions but good energy.

Next thread: “You model right?” “Definitely”

Lots of people might think this is “simping” but no.

The way the thread is transitioned - “Well nice to meet you I’m UV” and doesn’t linger is great. (There was a cut in the clip so we can only assume lol)

Signals that his question is more curiosity connected to her height rather than pedestalization (I think he is a model too). Continues assertion. “EMMA” voice spike no need.

“Let me see the eyes” - good instruction.

Issue assertiveness when you have good compliance, which he has.

Otherwise your assertiveness will be a minus rather than a plus. Guessing game comes next.

The premise is good as it’s a fun encouragement for investment, rather than simply answering.

But doesn’t work great as he’s repeating himself. Neutral. Afterwards Repeats the introduction.

Symptom of nervousness and perhaps why his vibe is always “on”. Notice he’s excitable throughout most of the interaction.

Maybe that’s how he is, but can come across performative if overdone.

That kind of energy is actually a superpower to have, but when you can’t mellow out in balance, It doesn’t feel real.

More so like a presentation. And then he prematurely closes IG for coffee.

No reason to do that.

Is it possible that he could get her out? Yeah if good text game/IG/attraction.

Now maybe there was more to the conversation that was clipped out,

But on the merits of what was visible, it is less likely.

Lots left on the table: Rapport, knowing her more (blueprint), emotional resonance, romantic intrigue, evaluations etc. She was most excited at the start - great beginning but no follow through.

But by the end of it she could have taken or left it.

This clip is a representation of flirting escalation. Now if I’m to be technically ideal, it could have been tightened up a bit. Get more buy in before expressing interest flirting, leaning and asking her your color of eyes is an overextension. Better to bait her first. But the premise of the flirt remains and it still worked. Guy goes in under an innocent premise, asking about eye color.

And in doing so he gets an excuse to move closer to her, create a moment, and move things forward.

This is plausible deniability.

The act itself should be more or less ambiguous leaning platonic.

But the effect of that action will still generate sexual undertones.

Him moving closer still prompts tension, resembles him moving in to kiss her.

Escalation, no matter if it’s pulling, expressing interest, sexualizing whatever - all follow the same pattern.

Pulling - you create a false premise to pull “It’s kind of loud here right? Let’s go somewhere so we can hear better”

Expressing interest - Does not have to be explicit like “I really like you” it can be “How old are you? Where are you from?”

Asked in the right way, you’re subtly signaling potential interest. You trying to figure out the logistics is interest.

Sexualizing - Making innuendos, Eye contact, references - “Your favorite color is pink? Let’s keep this pg 13 plz” This creates a double pronged effect.
 One is that escalation comes across more calibrated and easier to land. You’re not “bringing up segs” completely out of left field and coming across thirsty. But keeping things more or less “regular”, which buffers the pressure. Two - the plausible deniability IS a large part of tension. The butterflies in her stomach has a lot to do with the uncertainty created. “Does he really like me?” “Is he going for it” While simultaneously preserving your own social level of buy in, not confessing your love. There is still mystery. Directly expressing takes away that emotional element and often leaves the dynamic flat and predictable. This is to say Your goal is not to be detected. But to sneak into the palace without alerting the guards.

How to sexualize under the radar: Lots of guys find sexualizing a bit tricky to do throughout an entire date. This guy does it within a minute of meeting a girl. Totally calibrated - girl acknowledged the sexual frame and didn’t deny it. And perhaps this was unintentional but the reason it works is because the dynamic was reversed. Most of the time girls are accusing guys of getting sexual and they’re playing defense. Which makes a guys sexualization come across more needy and thirsty. …and if the girl accepts his advances she’ll feel too easy. But this time it was the opposite. The guy accuses her of sexualizing instead. She’s the one that’s trying to do something spicy, not him. So even though the topic is now on sex, it doesn’t feel like the guy is aggressively pursuing her. This bypasses the anti slut radar and allows her to engage with the premise positively instead of feeling creeped out. Resulting effect is that sex and kinks is now an appropriate topic to talk about and the conversation just got spicy. Now, there’s going to be a sexual undertone to the interaction. The purpose of them getting to know each other no longer solely to be friends.

How to stop getting friend zoned: The reason conversations go stale is because there is no opposition. Every storyline contains a villain, a problem, or a challenge - all synonyms for some sort of opposition. Stories would be boring otherwise. Dating conversations follow the same premise. If too much of it is rapport and comfort the conversation loses its spark. Staged or not, this video demonstrate examples of tension mechanisms. Throughout the vid they are competing against each other. “Or are you going to do something about it” - challenging “You have sunglasses on and it’s not sunny outside” - judging “At least I don’t look like a nerd” - teasing This type of energy is what rocks the boat and creates the chemistry girls talk about. Challenging, teasing, judging - when done in calibration is what makes her feel tension, This is the thing that differentiates you from being another nice guy.

What happens with too much teasing: This is an instance of power gaming. It is a double edged sword and cuts you if uncontrolled. The presence can be helpful to establish frame but too much comes across super tense, try-hard and you burn the set. The interaction was going fine already with normal get to know you conversation. She wasn’t testing him, wasn’t bratty, sarcastic or bored. Shoulders were square, strong eye contact, smiling, playing with hair and even asking him questions back. Sincerity, earnestness, contribution are metrics to gauge her level of buy-in to you. In terms of his value, he was good enough for the interaction. Not to mention she is more of the comfort type. A little tease here and there is still good but it doesn’t move the needle as much when value is already set. Diminishing returns. In scenarios where the girl is already accepting your frame, it’s a higher ROI to strengthen comfort and connection and even escalating on the romantic front. The girl was actually trying to connect more if you’ll notice, but he kept transforming it into a spike, shooting himself in the foot. The interaction started going downhill at the NYU thread, surprisingly she was ok with the skin tone comment lol.

The question posed was neutral - she was trying to get to know him more.

But he took it as disqualification. (Sign of insecurity)

Which, even if it was, he still mishandled it and came across upset.

Obsessed over that thread, judging, self-qualifying “You got to respect the mustache”

He probably thought he was “teasing” but when the thread is harped on multiple times, especially under circumstances where it’s not warranted - the meaning transforms from fun to reactive.

She starts looking around, disengaging.

Feeling judged, she qualifies herself “I just moved here” and then exits. Problem with power gamers is the over-prioritization and tunnel vision on the high ground. 
It is good to be aware of the power dynamics, but when interpretation is skewed it comes across emotionally fragile.

This is how to compliment without simping. And why all the traditional never-validate advice is incomplete. Notice how there’s really zero repression, he’s very liberal with complimenting. “You are so cute” “I’m so serious” “You have such a cool look to you” If he feels like saying it, he says it. And he doesn’t come across like a fan at all.

Reason why is because of the back and forth energy balance. Yes he compliments and validates, but he also takes away validation too. By: Giving her shit - “Yes you, not the person behind you” “I love how you’re so taken aback, as if this is not happening to you all day” By evaluating her - “… all black, I had to come see what’s happening” His entire demeanor throughout the interaction is a give and take. And so no matter how much he compliments, The balance remains even as he equally breaks rapport just as much if not more. “You speak good English right?” “Omg you’re unbelievable” “You’re kidding” Interrupting her and changing threads, Leading the conversation. What’s being communicated is: “Yes I am interested but I’m not a pushover” The interest comes not from pedeatalization but from expressing purely what’s on his mind. Both the positive and the negative. And that’s what works.

These clips are actually about frame. The fumble happens not because of the initial statements but because of the subsequent reactions. Initial clip: “Were you like a ring girl?” That line is not the best, not the worst. But it becomes worse because of the apology. He’s taking the burden of the thread which is a lower position act. You don’t have to. “I was actually teaching kids” Play dumb “Oh what? Teaching kids to be a ring girl?” Double down “MMA missed an opportunity” Or just move on. There’s zero need to apologize. Second clip: “I’m very vanilla” “Other people have more segs exp than me” Again, not a “cool line” but there’s nothing wrong with it. What matters more is the reaction/opinion to it. The framing could be good or bad. “I’m intimidated” - the way he’s accepting about it is actually ok. But what’s disadvantageous is the internal shame, inferiority - the negative framing around it. It is saying “I am lesser because of my missing experience” Vanilla doesn’t have to be bad. “I like being more selective with who I’m with” Joke about it - “I wanted to avoid all the nasty girl cooties in my 20s lol” Now the message becomes “I’m better because of it” Third clip: “Should we just “ and implying they kiss. This is a great mini-escalation - goofy a tinge of possibility. Emotionally spiked and she laughs, it’s such a great moment but, He then apologizes, laughs, which is admitting fault and running from tension. And by doing so, loses his positioning. And then awkward hug at the end which is easily fixable. But all to say There’s a lot of competence here. He can make girls laugh, is low-ego, expressive Signs of social familiarity and confidence within a normal context. His normal conversation material isn’t terrible, the thing that dims his light is improper framing. If he just fixed framing, and his relationship to tension, his ability to attract would go from zero to hero quick. Social acuity in other areas is already great. If you guys have more texts or interactions you want to breakdown, lmk

This interaction is much more balanced in position compared to the previous breakdown: The opener starts with a tease “You making sure you guys got good angles?” - he’s exaggerating her out to be obsessive silly. Very good opener - relevant puts you higher position conversationally - you are lightly judging from above, and not validating. She laughs. Good place to start at. Neutral question afterwards, “Was it pictures or video?” Continuing the convo but it is close ended doesn’t really add fire power. Which closes that thread. The next thread is about their plans - cool spots, what they’re about to do. There are some disadvantages to this thread, but in terms of value positioning, he has things in his favor: 1 - Leading the interaction with line of questioning. He’s actually the one that’s evaluating and learning about the girls. “What do you guys like to do? Sip drinks or dance?” “What’s your go to spot?” Frames him as the person who has higher authority/expertise - they are the ones explaining themselves 2 - Playfully disapproving Furthers the positioning with a light call out: “Ah that’s not super new you guys are just homebodies” This is a push. Judgement and authority. But at the same time notice that she actually laughs too. Sometimes you’ll push and it ends up being a magnet back to you. So overall, position is good. But there was still money left on the table: 1 - There wasn’t a strong man to woman flirting dynamic. He had a one liner about catching his attention. But other than that it was mostly platonic. 2 - didn’t break past being strangers. The interaction makes it like he’s a stranger giving them recommendations. There’s not actually a vibe where they’re on a personal basis. Things that could have helped: Tie things back to the actual girl: Make the topics about her - where she’s from, her tendencies, her personality Too much of the threads was about non-personal tour guide stuff. Traditional advice frowns on regular questions, But they actually help when done right. when balanced with teasing qualifications fun “Where are you from?” “Oh so that’s where that low-key sass comes from” “You more of a going out type of a girlie, or a chill indoor vibe?” “Omg are you the type to play monopoly until midnight” “Ahh we’re like opposites then” “What’s fun about that for you?” By talking about her specifically, Her personality, her background, etc The conversation vibe evolves into something more personal.

One of the easiest mistakes to make is over-validation. Easy slip up b/c over-validation can occur without over-the-top statements: Even though there wasn’t a “Omg you’re so beautiful” - in its place were subtle but stacked validation statements. Starting off with - “Hey I like the color combo” - this is actually a great opener imo, but nonetheless still a little validating. Which isn’t bad on its own, but becomes a disadvantage when stacked: “I like the color combo” “That’s a good answer” “I like it” “You guys have a good vibe” “You caught my attention” Most of the thread is validation. Again, there isn’t a giant simp moment, And this guy has an overall good leading vibe, But altogether, stacked statements create death by a thousand cuts. If the girl already likes you and reciprocates, the playing field can still be even. But in cases where the girl is a maybe, over-validation comes across like you’re too easy. In this case, the situation gets more imbalanced b/c he asks for the name and the number right afterwards, which are both expressions of interest too. So altogether - he went validation, then neutral regular questions, then more validation, then expressions of interest. Combining everything - it comes across over-eager. Positionally - she’s in higher demand than him. Which is a large reason why she tried to drink mooch. What would have helped? Not escalating on moments of low-investment, But also and more importantly balancing out the pulls with pushes. Like when she said nowhere was the best, “So you just chose all bad spots? haha off your A game?” Can Observe judge “Omg hoop earrings, Oh man I heard that meant toxiiiiccc” “Are you toxic or good?” “I don’t believe you” Could be completely illogical too. “What made you wear red? Is that your favorite color?” “Red means you like the center of attention though huh? *eye roll smile* omg diva over here” Point being - moments of distance helps. It’s pushing away interest and validation to add balance. “Does he like me? Does he not like me?” - that’s a more attractive dynamic, especially if the girl is not won over yet.

💯 Goes to a larger point that girls often say shit just to say shit. Half the time (if not more lol) they’re not even putting in logical effort in the argument. All they’re doing is saying “you suck” in whatever way they’ve seen work the best lol. A good example is when girls say “you’re insecure”. Most of the times that shit isn’t even truly applicable to the situation. Make her explain out the logic and she can’t. Because it’s just name calling to her. The only reason it holds power is because guys interpret it logically and then want to have an entire debate about it, which makes you lose. Qualifying yourself - she doesn’t see it as “oh he has a better reason” She sees it as, haha I’m making him so mad, I have so much leverage over him.

This is an example why having a coach or a wing is great for approaching. Chances are white t shirt guy would never approach had it not been for clav. Pretty interesting how the psychology works. The fear of failure is actually replaced by the fear of being seen as scared in the live stream. When the incentives/2nd consequence outweigh the original you naturally take action with less resistance, if any. Still not optimal because t shirt dude is now chasing validation from Clav but it’s a great shortcut still. Did the approach all the same, getting reference experience all the same. I can’t tell you how many times the reason I did the approach was to not look pussy lol.

The game mistake 99% of normies make: Relating. She says, "yeah I'm from Texas." Normie says, "oh yeah, I've been to Texas." He tries to connect by relating his experience to her. For the most part, she doesn't really care. She's there to feel special and have fun. So unless you're the world's highest value guy... Relating doesn't move the needle until she's invested in you. So what should you do instead? Empathy. Empathy = strong comfort game. Most guys think comfort is "talking about her friends and family". That's a misconception. And you have to be careful about this one because guys use "comfort" as a cope for shitty game. "She was a comfort girl so I spent a bunch of time talking about her work and friends and family" i.e., "I was boring AF like every other guy so she didn't want to f*ck me" lmaoo Empathy means painting a picture of her world. She gives you the sketch, you fill in the colors. ❌Relating Normie Game Her: "I'm an accountant" Guy: "Oh yeah it's tax season, I just filed my taxes" (*yawn*) ✅Empathetic Chad Game: Her: "I'm an accountant" Guy: "omggg tax season you must be buried in paperwork right now loll :)" See the difference? In one instance, you talk about you (she doesn't care). In the other, you talk about her ("omg feelings!") It may seem trivial... But over the course of an interaction... These small differences add up to a bigger impact... And ultimately make her feel that you "get her".

Vibe delay the moment she has to decide are 2 of the strongest "value boosters" you can have in a cold approach, or just talking to new girls in general at bars, social events w/e. Vibe is pretty self explanatory. Cooler you are in person the cooler she thinks you are. Her lens: only a confident, established person would have the balls, ability and confidence to carry the conversation. So good vibes, ability to create contrast (tension) while not completely collapsing good nature rapport makes you come across as a boss, high status, popular etc etc You expect good outcomes so you proceed with good vibes not afraid of pushing away. If you can alchemize a high pressure instance like a cold approach into something enjoyable, fun, and low anxiety, the intial "low status" nature of cold approach becomes flipped. Second is delay the moment she has to make a decision. Most guys ask for the number outright, call her beautiful outright, essentially displaying interest from the first moment which forces her to decide right then and there, "do I like him?" The more desire you express, the more you are basically asking "hey so do you want to buy?" You want to delay this to get as much leverage as possible before going for the close. In sales this is focusing on their pain points, on their outcomes, getting them emotional before revealing price and talking about the sale. Same thing with the approach. The more time she has with you, given that you have a good vibe, the more value capital you build up before you go for the close. Even just 1 minute delayed compared to outright asking for a number is worlds apart.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong" Here: To preface, it is totally possible she just didn't like you that much. But also that last text didn't win you any points either: If you were joking it didn't land. Furthermore, the chances of you liking Kerry Gold same as her is hard to believe off rip. As a result high chance she thinks you're full of shit and you're purposefully trying to fake commonalities to get on her good side. And if you were to extrapolate that further, there's a lot that's potentially a "no no" with this behavior. Main one being: Overly agreeing/faking smells desperate. You are "wanting things to work out" too much. By agreeing so quickly (whether you're joking or not), it comes across like you're not very selective. Had you more options to choose from, likely there would be more natural "qualifications". In the circumstance you really did have Kerrygold, You might be more skeptical and require more investment "really - what do you use Kerrygold for" And if not, you would naturally disagree with her butter choice "Ew we gotta upgrade you lol" (Which probably would work better tbh) Point being - slight pushes usually implies options. You don't need the interaction to work, you're comfortable with potentially pushing her away. You have higher requirements due to other girls already liking you, and also b/c you have high self esteem. In other words, Disagreeing, or being a skeptic shows higher value, that you operate from your own frame. You care more about your opinions than hers - you aren't trying to jump through hoops in order to be liked. Which is to say - Agreeing too quickly, (and potentially faking your interests) comes across as the opposite: Makes it seem like you're trying to impress her. You think she's better than you, so you have to prop yourself up with a commonality so you're worthy. You are prioritizing her opinions and her approval over your own - your objective is to "get her to like you at any cost" instead of "seeing if you two are a match". You are chasing. No bueno.

The weather's warming up. The daygame season is finally upon us. Now is a great time to think about your goals for the year: I am not much of a "track-every-metric" kind of guy... But I think it's useful to have a list of goals you want to work on, and sticking points you want to overcome. Couple ideas: - Number of Approaches. Most guys do far more approaches in their mind than they do in reality. It's good to set up a "quantitative" approach goal, depending where you are in your game journey. It gives you something to work toward. If your new, having a goal like "1,000 opens this year" is good for anesthetizing yourself to approach anxiety and the sting of rejection. If you're "intermediate", then having an approach goal gives you an opportunity to work on your technical fixes -- both in set and on dates. Oftentimes, you don't always hit your "raw numbers" goal -- but that can be a good thing. If you're spending less time spamming the streets because you're getting more idates and dates, that's PROGRESS. Dates are where the real game is played anyway. Other goal ideas: - Pulling the trigger for idates and instant-pulls when you get strong reception (not just "doing sets for the sake of doing sets") - Slowing DOWN your in-set game (focusing on your subcoms: your body language and tonality. Are you recording your sets, anon?) - Monitoring the emotional energy of the set (knowing how to "amp up" the energy when there's a lull in-set; knowing how to move things forward when the energy is high) - Frame-battling sets when they don't give you auto-compliance off the rip (strengthens your game ,moves you past endless "stone-flipping", and gives you experience with hotter girls) - Sharpening your text game (over the course of a year, solid text game will make-or-break several dates opportunities. It's a skill on its own worth learning) - Pushing yourself to get to the next level of game and generating an enormous conviction in your ability as a man to make shit happen (doing things you wouldn't normally do and separating yourself from the pack of chodes. Too many guys don't leave voice notes, don't push sets to the limits, and ultimately use daygame as a tool to assuage their ego that they are better than other guys who don't approach but yet don't believe there's any game to be had past hunting for "yes girl"). FWIW: I've coached handful of guys over the past few years, and am open for a few private coaching spots this year. If you want to know a bit more about me -- and how we can work together to get you to the "next level" -- shoot me a DM and we can chat.