The National Parody Account for the sport of Ultimate in the United States.
Joined September 2013
- Tweets 1,082
- Following 68
- Followers 3,156
- Likes 110
96 Photos and videos
24 May 2024
The 2024 USA Ultimate D-I College Championships have been canceled.
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22 Sep 2023
UPDATE: Mid-Atlantic Club Regionals has been canceled. (Permanently. Forever.)
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16 Mar 2023
Narcing on your opponents is actually the highest form of respect. If you disagree, you don’t fully understand Spirit of the Game.
16 Mar 2023
The rules now allow for sideline players to call offsides in games without observers, yet I’ve not seen any team do it. Outside teams I coach 😁
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8 Feb 2023
The 2023 Club Uniform Guidelines stipulate that players in all divisions are prohibited from growing facial hair or wearing jersey numbers higher than 30. usaultimate.org/news/2023/02…
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19 Jan 2023
He forgot to shotgun a beer.
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21 Dec 2022
Let’s not forget to credit @theAUDL, hosts of the original Shred Fest.
1 May 2015
15 Players Who Have Shredded Their Penises on AUDL Turf.
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13 Dec 2022
Yes. The PDGA and DGPT can unequivocally fuck off.
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21 Oct 2022
Do we look like an organization that’s got “repair the history pages” money?
21 Oct 2022
I don't know if USAU has plans to repair the history pages. The old ones are still at archive.usaultimate.org/arch… but they also partnered with us to help build out ultimate-reference.com/playe…
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21 Oct 2022
Do we look like an organization that’s got “functional website” money?
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20 Oct 2022
Do we look like an organization that’s got “new commercial” money?
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26 Sep 2022
Exactly.
26 Sep 2022
the fuck is an Aria
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25 Sep 2022
Pay for it with some of that Aria money, you nerds. We put that shit in the rulebook as a joke. You’re not actually supposed to play with those.
25 Sep 2022
I would like a refund of $22.10 for parking from @USUAltimate. Please and thank you.
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23 Sep 2022
There are many differences between USA Ultimate and the AUDL, but one thing is for certain: Tom Crawford’s nudes have more tasteful composition, better lighting, and his bush is much tidier.
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23 Jul 2022
SFI East games will resume at 4:00, but if anyone says anything about how it’s “just as hot as this morning” we are going to, like, totally freak out.
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23 Jul 2022
ATTENTION: Games at SFI East will resume once the BOFA Index falls below 7. Stay tuned for updates.
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9 Apr 2022
This is way too much info. Can you all do the “5-4, offense holds” thing like everyone else?
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16 Mar 2022
If you think $300 is a lot, wait until you see the fines we're gonna start giving out for the jerk off hand motion. ⏪✊⏩
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21 Dec 2021
Don’t forget that “strenuously contest” is also a valid option.
21 Dec 2021
Why do American ultimate players use “contest” and “no contest” to disagree or agree with a call? In Europe, the options are “contest” and “accept,” which makes more sense to me (especially given the hand signals). Why don’t Americans also use “accept” for discussing calls?
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