The global crusade against serving food on bits of wood and roof slates, chips in mugs and jam-jar drinks. Buy the book: amzn.to/2yVLIdT
Joined March 2015
- Tweets 2,947
- Following 1
- Followers 128,496
- Likes 9,792
1,342 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
19 Sep 2018
TOP 50: The worst of We Want Plates. RT to raise awareness. ✊🍽
x.com/WeWantPlates/timelines…
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
25 Nov 2019
IRONING INSTRUCTIONS
Cotton: iron on high heat
Silk: iron on medium heat
Nylon: iron on low heat
Prawns: iron on manky board
(Pic: @Zahn0)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
21 Oct 2015
Worst episode of Robot Wars ever.
(Pic: @BriarAdams)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
7 Oct 2019
Dear Pubs,
When you ask “Can I get you any condiments with your meal?” and the reply is “Yes please, ketchup and vinegar”, a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of vinegar would be lovely.
Not this.
(Pic: @dbbas)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
15 Apr 2018
“What do we want?”
“Free sanitary products!”
“When do we want them?”
“Not while we’re eating dessert at an experimental Japanese restaurant, but thanks for the thought.”
(Pic: @illicit_empress)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
24 Jul 2017
"Sorry, I didn't order a beer."
"That's gravy, sir."
"It's what?"
"Gravy."
"In a can?"
"Yes."
[looks round]
"Gravy?"
(Pic: @Eamonn_Forde)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
30 Apr 2019
If only someone would invent some sort of cup-like vessel for drinking coffee out of, it could become really popular.
(Pic: @EliotLandrum)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
3 Aug 2017
"Chef, we've only got a tiny bit of cheesecake and two raspberries left."
"Fetch the Big Slate."
"But chef..."
"BIG SLATE."
(Pic: @wozziel)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
10 Aug 2019
Remembering the glorious day when a Flaming Grill couldn't serve food in their usual bin lids and put up this sign.
(Pic: Dawn Butler)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
14 Aug 2018
“Hi, we asked for the bill.”
“We brought it.”
“Where is it?”
“It’s under the raspberries.”
“Under the raspberries is a rock.”
“The bill is under the rock.”
[blinks]
(Pic: @ruthreed01)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
8 Feb 2019
"How do you take your tea?"
"White, no onions.”
(Pic: @ChantalBorch)
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14 Feb 2022
Roses are red,
Grey is for slates,
They’ve got no raised edge,
Unlike wonderful plates.
❤️🍽
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
See this? See what's missing..?
Shame I didn't bring my fucking oven gloves with me.
And if they bring my overpriced cake out on a sodding roof tile...I'll lose it.
#ForkHandles
ALT A small bowl of coffee, sold by a cafe in Stirling.
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
10 Feb 2018
"Excellent idea to dim the lighting so customers can't see how small our portions are, chef."
"GODDAMMIT JUSTIN, TABLE SIX HAVE BROUGHT THEIR OWN MINIATURE DESK LAMP."
(Pic: HT @dazcun)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
20 Aug 2018
“Welcome to the Lazy Chef Cafe, what can I get you?”
“An orange juice, please.”
(Pic: @justandrea)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
11 Aug 2019
Not since the one-eyed taco Chihuahua have we been so torn as to whether a serving method should be mandatory or banned.
(Pic: @HannahM_73)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
14 Aug 2017
"Here's your pork, sir."
"Where?"
"In the trough."
"What?"
"The trough."
"Eh?"
"On the chute."
"Eh?"
"In the grass."
(Pic: @UKChris1982)
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
9 Sep 2019
NEWSFLASH: THEY ALREADY ARE.
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
22 Jan 2022
Dica: Essa “experiência gastronômica” você pode fazer em casa.
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We Want Plates 🍽 retweeted
6 Jul 2018
[waiter emerges from kitchen amid a cloud of smoke, flames licking his heels, tips of his waxed moustache on fire]
“Your dessert, sir.”
(Pic: @ThomasI82)
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