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Joined July 2012
- Tweets 12,091
- Following 842
- Followers 3,040
- Likes 97,320
510 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
8 Dec 2025
failson with solid respectable career in a happy relationship and has lots of loving friends
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based on the volume of missed calls and drunk texts I received between 3 and 4am everyone had an amazing night last night
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16h
You have to love love. If you don’t love love then you’ve got no chance.
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15 Apr 2024
your father and i met in the comments section of a boxxy video
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Jun 12
This plate was found in a London sewer. "You And I Are Earth”, from 1661.
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Jun 12
sitting in the back of a van heading from sd to sf 90 degrees sweating af and focusedly on my phone negotiating a brand deal for the minions franchise for franchesca branden and ari
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Jun 12
BRIS-ket ball 🤯
Jun 11
brisketball 🥩
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Jun 10
The vibe in New York City is just electric right now, if you don’t live here I feel sorry for you
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"Molesting ... that's fine with me"
- Cass
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Jun 10
this has settled quite nicely into the lexicon of my social group which I am quite pleased with , the meaning has changed slightly to just refer to molesting in general but that’s fine with me
May 29
when your friend gooses you in the Uber that’s called the “sneaky shrew” it’s a new term I invented for that
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Jun 10
I keep accidentally opening my camera while using the shake app resulting in some stunning abstract imagery and also really annoying my friends because it ruins the shake
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Jun 10
getting a lot of compliments on my appearance which I feel like is a hidden camera prank because I’m wearing an especially dorky outfit and my hair is damp
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Jun 9
I don’t really wear makeup but I’m going to try experimenting with it in more casual settings instead of just like NYE and my birthday please bear with me
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Jun 9
wore sensual opened toed heels to watch the Knicks tonight which admittedly was a strange choice #toesoutforwemby
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Jun 9
Already was having yet another perfect night and then the bodega guy didn’t let me pay for my Gatorade
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