writer bitch/freelancer/@newyorker, @mcsweeneys, @realpunknews more/the books BUILD YOUR OWN ROMANTIC COMEDY & SET PIECE out now

Joined June 2010
4,194 Photos and videos
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happy pub day to SET PIECE 🌷🌷🌷
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timmy getting kylie pregnant tonight
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screamed in a way just now i am sorry strangers and even close friends had to hear
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you just created a million jalen brunsons
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lana schwartz retweeted
walked past this man on junction who told me he sold his soul so knicks could win tonight. it’s that serious 😭😭😭😭
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can't wait to see disclosure day - a movie that based on its title, i imagine is about a bunch of lawyers negotiating the terms of a contract
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lana schwartz retweeted
i hope elon doesn't let the money change him
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everything has become so trad i forgot what it was like to read someone speak honestly
After my marriage ended, writes Emily Ratajkowski, I began compulsively dating in order to figure out what kind of woman I wanted to be. thecut.com/article/emily-rat…
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lana schwartz retweeted
Watch this…

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everyone gets mad that celebrities are 'too boring now' and media trained but then when they actually have opinions people hate that too.....make up your minds!!
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lana schwartz retweeted
Someone from their second floor apartment projects the Knicks game against the 4th Avenue-9th Street station
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jose alvarado being raised in fresh meadows (a place almost no one is from except me) is very important
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do you think woody allen is somewhere saying 'if seinfeld can date a 17 year old and still sit courtside why can't i'
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having to talk about the regents this much is triggering
With all due respect, if you never had a green MetroCard and a Regents diploma, you can keep your Knicks celebration on a low simmer
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that green metrocard too
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DOT paint all the crosswalks blue and orange i stg
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lana schwartz retweeted
not since abraham lincoln has someone loved coming up from behind like that
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lana schwartz retweeted
Mr. OG Anunoby, you are welcome at FLC whenever you wish (matinees and evening screenings).
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hahaha hahahaha hahah hahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lana schwartz retweeted
THE PLAY THAT PUT THE KNICKS UP 3-1.
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frank sinatra estate getting a huuuuuge check this week
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