Australia's retard laureate
Joined May 2022
- Tweets 7,507
- Following 1,112
- Followers 425
- Likes 10,236
502 Photos and videos
10 Apr 2025
(hours later and still refusing to admit I misspelled my own name) So, im taking the spelling of Jameel to strange new places....
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6 Apr 2025
perfect date ruined as museum staff discover the 2 burger rings Ive dropped into the gold-coin-for-entry box
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6 Apr 2025
thinking about how the first saxophone prolly only had single key/button thingy
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29 Mar 2025
I'll never pronounce Turkiye the new woke way. I've been calling it Turkey coz they're a bunch of bloody turkeys. It's just a coincidence that everyone else called it Turkey also
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28 Mar 2025
I got charged with stealing a bike from outside the pub. Doesn't seem right to me.. What kind of world is this where they make it a crime to steal a hungry bicycle? A little tiny bicycle?
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28 Mar 2025
The saddest thing I've ever seen in my life, is a single gum boot, sitting in the middle of a picnic table. I was coming down from meth and I cried for hours after seeing it. Doesn't seem like such a sad thing now of course, but at the time it seemed a very sad thing for sure
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6 Feb 2025
"Is there a Lebanese race?" the longest examination in the history of the Federal Court, halted by the judge after 12239 days of heated debate
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1 Feb 2025
Western Australian natural gas is clean, comes straight from the ocean; it's what's known as a 'benevolent gas' By contrast, the eastern or 'Guinea-States' use coal-seem gas. Known by its street-name "Honk", it burns black & sooty, is made from the blood of the horseshoe crab..
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Jameel π΅πΈ retweeted
13 Aug 2023
me leaving the club at 5am completely naked and stuck in a chair
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Jameel π΅πΈ retweeted
10 Oct 2024
we'll finally get to see tanya plibersek doing a scomo photo op failing to high five someone who's lost everything in what scientists are tentatively calling an "omegafire" and we'll all have a good laugh with memes despite knowing we'll probably have to do some wickerman shit
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Jameel π΅πΈ retweeted
1 Oct 2024
My mother-in-law was just out walking her dog and sent me this⦠love the idea of the old boy wandering round the park showing his coffee pals what he got up to at the weekend like he is showing photos of his grandkids #AFLGrandFinal #AFL #BrisbaneLions
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26 Sep 2024
Still not really sure how people are dying in house fires. Feel like I could make my way out of a house fire easily. probably just go thru the doors like i normally do
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26 Sep 2024
Guess Who looking ass
11 Mar 2022
Iβm walking into City Hall from one direction while Mayor Adams comes from the other. Before I can get a word in, he says βThis is New York, we donβt wear Boston hats.β
Itβs a Brooklyn Dodgers hat!
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24 Sep 2024
feel like all religions could benefit from some kind of dreidl
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24 Sep 2024
the men of the Eastern States are naturally jealous of the West Australian. It goes back to our colonial beginnings, when the east was ruled by drunkards and shilling-a-day men like Bligh and Arthur; the quixotic Chapman in the south. Whereas..
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24 Sep 2024
... we in the West were never ruled. We were ππ¦π₯, from sea to shining 'scarp, by the august Governor Stirling. The greatest leader this country has ever seen.
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