I beat a thin man in a pie eating contest and a fat man in a pie not-eating contest.

Joined November 2010
75 Photos and videos
The ol' Twitter account got hacked, and it took 2 weeks for support to get back to me about it (In case you were wondering why I suddenly seemed to become an NFT-superfan douche bag)
2
3
239
David Crennen retweeted
the worst month of the year starts next week and this is still the best video on the internet x.com/_lil_i_am/status/14885…

485
7,438
38,289
4,918,690
David Crennen retweeted
Criterion Collection has announced they will be launching a channel on TikTok to reach a new audience with their preservation of classic films. Launching today, Criterion has posted My Dinner with André (1981) as it’s first upload.
211
7,371
48,499
2,954,865
I truly live for art like this
lots to like about this california diner’s sports mural but my favorite detail is that for some reason Wayne Gretzky is Judas
imagine buying twitter instead of building a 45 billion dollar library tower with gardens and water cascading down the side with one of every book ever written open to the public endowed for 10,000 years
12
207
1,173
David Crennen retweeted
13 Nov 2022
I might actually prefer to see a Charlie Kaufman / Adaptation style movie about Michael Lewis writing and then frantically rewriting his book on Sam Bankman-Fried
1
10
61
Reminds me of those insulting promo tie-in Burger King ads from the 00's that just called it "Aragon's sword". Excuse me, but it was forged from the shards of Narsil. A little respect please
My girlfriend doesn’t want me to hang Andúril on the wall.
David Crennen retweeted
18 Aug 2018
I sent youse two to whack that freakin' guy and instead youse screwed it up like a couple of
198
10,211
43,368
Wow - pitch perfect. The brilliant crossover that was just waiting to happen!
I HEAR THE BLUES A-KILLIN' (or: Frasier Meets Columbo) part 1 of 4
David Crennen retweeted
Actresses that never played Jerry Seinfeld’s date and the storyline they probably would’ve had. Mariska Hargitay, “Amy”, a local weather woman. Jerry breaks up with her because she’s wrong about the weather one weekend. (Jerry misses a Mets game)
245
1,639
21,038
David Crennen retweeted
10 Oct 2022
Please God no
353
1,686
18,561
I must now try jumping in that elevator
The person who designed this sign knows precisely NOTHING about human nature. NO. THING.
David Crennen retweeted
4 Oct 2022
me & my friend acting up again..we do get a little Nutso sometimes but our in-detph discussions about Culture are truly enlightening/serious
31
640
4,824
David Crennen retweeted
It is time for the world to truly know ANDROMEDA OF AETHIOPIA. The classic Greek legend once deconstructed by time is now resurrected by African artists.
184
2,620
8,967
David Crennen retweeted
My sisters partner made a horse cake for the #queensfuneral and-
570
2,101
27,628
David Crennen retweeted
15 Jul 2022
one time for charles barkley 😤😤

143
3,109
20,950