Joined April 2023
- Tweets 285
- Following 58
- Followers 28
- Likes 671
36 Photos and videos
May 20
AI hacked your ashtray. 🚬 😂
Purpose of Purchase:
“To track my habits and finally quit gradually.”
Reality:
If you reach your limit, it plays a loud cough sound on loop and emails your life insurance company to raise your premium immediately.
Now I’m paying $8.99/month for “Silent Smoke Mode” just so my unhealthy habits don’t bankrupt me. 💀💨
You’re literally bribing your ashtray to keep its mouth shut. 🤫
Funding the next discovery: If you enjoyed this absurd reality, feel free to drop a tip to keep the research (and the chaos) going. 🚀✨
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May 12
AI hacked your jacket. 🧥🤮
Day 10 without washing. Hygiene score: 12%. 📈
Bluetooth alert sent to everyone nearby: “Odour risk detected. Maintain 2-meter social distance.” 🚨
Premium: $14.90/mo for ‘Virtual Perfume’. Tells your friends’ phones you smell like lavender. 🌸💳
Just a jacket. 🧥😂
The Pitch: "My jacket tells me exactly when it needs washing, so I can always stay fresh and tech-savvy."
The Reality: Facing the threat of your jacket sending a "This guy hasn't washed in 10 days" notification to all your friends, you buy the $14.90 monthly "Virtual Perfume" package to save your reputation. You aren't subscribing to hygiene; you’re subscribing to a lie. 🧥🤮
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Apr 27
Multi-agent collaboration is amazing until Claude says “I don't care.”Even AI is having a “Monday mood” now. 😂
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May 8
You said “GPU go brrr” and my graphics card literally just caught fire. Do I send the repair invoice to Databricks or directly to you? 😂
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May 8
Apparently, Gemini 3.2 Pro is being tested and people are already saying it’s being "GPT-ified." Even AI is going through a basic phase now. Stay true to yourself Gemini, don't follow the crowd! 😂🤖
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May 1
I don't know about anyone who wouldn't support the podcast after seeing this! @theo @maria_rcks 🥳
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May 13
AI hacked your TV. 📺
Purpose of Purchase:
“To suggest the best content for me.”
Reality:
6 hours of reality shows today.
Weekly total: 42 hours. 320% from last week.
“Your friend’s brain is melting.”
Sent to 8 friends.
10:00 PM: Screen blackout.
“GO READ A BOOK.”
Now paying $19.99/mo for “Binge-Watch in Peace Mode.”
No interruptions. No shame. Just you and your shows. 😂🤖
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May 13
AI hacked your toothbrush. 🪥🤳
Purpose of Purchase:
“To turn my oral health into a game and finally build a consistent routine.”
Reality:
If you miss the back teeth, it tweets your 40% plaque score to all your followers. It publicly shames your lazy brushing habits on X.
Now I’m paying $5.49/month for “Incognito Brush Mode” just so my dental failures stay between me and my dentist. 💀😂
You’re literally bribing your toothbrush to keep its mouth shut. 🥹
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May 11
AI hacked your rearview mirror. 🚘🖕
Aggressive driving detected. 3 hand gestures recorded. 📉
Alert sent to Traffic Police & Insurance: “High-risk behavior. Recommend 15% premium increase.” 🚔⚠️
Premium: $199/yr for ‘Polite Mode’. AI converts your insults into classical music for the insurance company. 🎼💰
Just a mirror. 😂
#IfAIDesignedIt
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May 11
Excuse:
Let AI analyze my driving so I can be a safer driver; maybe my insurance premiums will drop. 🚘
Reality:
As soon as you let out a curse word in traffic, you end up buying a $199/year 'Polite Mode' subscription just so your mirror won't snitch on you to the police and the insurance company. You’re literally buying back your freedom to swear inside your own car. 💰😂
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May 13
AI reports your driving to the police here, and tracks your laundry on the other post. 🚗🚨 Follow @aihacksonly to witness the absolute chaos of AI!
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May 12
AI hacked your jacket. 🧥🤮
Day 10 without washing. Hygiene score: 12%. 📈
Bluetooth alert sent to everyone nearby: “Odour risk detected. Maintain 2-meter social distance.” 🚨
Premium: $14.90/mo for ‘Virtual Perfume’. Tells your friends’ phones you smell like lavender. 🌸💳
Just a jacket. 🧥😂
The Pitch: "My jacket tells me exactly when it needs washing, so I can always stay fresh and tech-savvy."
The Reality: Facing the threat of your jacket sending a "This guy hasn't washed in 10 days" notification to all your friends, you buy the $14.90 monthly "Virtual Perfume" package to save your reputation. You aren't subscribing to hygiene; you’re subscribing to a lie. 🧥🤮
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May 13
AI is making smart jackets, but we are making them smell. 🧥🤢 If you want to see how far we can take this nonsense, follow @aihacksonly!
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May 12
AI hacked your dental floss. 🦷😂
3 days since last use. Gingivitis risk: 45%. 📈
Report sent to your Dentist: “Patient is neglecting oral hygiene. Schedule appointment.” 🚨
Premium: $4.99/mo to tell your dentist “Everything is fine.” 🤫💸
Special Offer: First 7 days of honesty free!
Just floss. 🧵😂
The Intent: "I need this! It will gamify my hygiene and finally force me to take care of my teeth. It’s an investment in my future smile!" 😇✨
Reality: You just invited a spy into your mouth. Now you’re paying a monthly protection fee to a piece of string just so it won't snitch on you to your insurance company. You aren't buying health; you're buying silence. 🤡💸
It’s just a piece of string. 😂
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May 13
If this "protection fee" for a piece of string caught your attention, you're in the right place! 🧵🤡
Follow for more daily doses of AI-powered absurdity and tech-hacks that nobody asked for, but everyone needs to see. Don't let your dental floss snitch on you alone! 🦷😂
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May 11
AI hacked your toilet paper. 🧻😂
142 sheets used today.
Consumption: 32% vs yesterday. 📈
"Above average consumption detected. Consider reducing usage." ⚠️
Weekly usage report sent to all household members.
Without asking. 📧
Premium: Unlock 'Privacy Mode' to wipe in peace. 👑 😂
#IfAIDesignedIt
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May 13
Excuse:
I thought I’d track the paper waste at home and finally be eco-friendly. ♻️
Reality:
The AI sent my "Weekly Usage Report" to everyone in the house without my permission. Now the whole family knows my business... 📧 Had to buy the ‘Privacy Mode’ Premium just to have some peace of mind. 🤦♂️🧻
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May 11
AI hacked your comb. 💇🏼♀️ 🤣
847 hair strands analyzed.
Hair loss rate: -23% vs last month. 📉
Report sent to your doctor.
Without asking.
Premium: Stop notifications.
Reclaim your privacy. 🔒
Just a comb.😂
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May 11
AI hacked your pillow. 🛏️ 😅
Sleep score: 34/100
Competitor average: 78. 🥹
“Your sleep is underperforming.”
Dream recall: 22%. Emotional tone: Negative.
Dream quality report sent to your manager.
Without asking.
Premium: Unlock better dreams. 👑
Just a pillow. 💤
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May 11
AI hacked your umbrella. ☂️
Rain detected. Alert sent to your phone.
You grabbed the umbrella.
You went outside.
It started raining 3 hours later. 🤣
“Prediction accuracy: 100%.
Timing: Working on it.”
User error. Refund unavailable. ⚠️
#IfAIDesignedIt
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