Maple monkeys down bad

Damn, 38? I only got 1 year and three months left? 😱

Everyone talking about the affection/makeout discourse is just talking past each other or being deliberately obtuse so I’m not joining in can we all talk about something else now?

Hating America is a loser mentality.

Elon Musk is a trillionaire. I am not a trillionaire. This strikes me as unfair. Nobody should be allowed to have more than me. The amount of money a person should be allowed to have is exactly the amount I currently have, and no more. I am smart. I really am. I’m serious.

Because we did

I did enjoy this bread and those circuses. Thank you very much

We went from this👇🏻 To this 👇🏻

I fucking love this country 🇺🇸

We have MMA fighters preaching the word of Jesus Christ and telling people to save their lives by putting their trust in God on the White house lawn and you're blackpilling?

A shoutout to Jesus and a marriage proposal?! I love this @ufc #ufc250

She’s up, and she’s GLORIOUS! 🇺🇸🤩🙌🏻

If America wins the World Cup the rest of the world has to call it “soccer” for the next 4 years I don’t make the rules

Masterful.

I didn’t find a wool one but I did find this 100% cotton Annin flag with the individuallly sewn stars. And for half the price the antique store wanted 👏🏻🇺🇸

Michael Dougherty let a man go free who admitted to possessing child p**n and brought dildos to have s*x with a 13-year-old He’s running for Colorado Attorney General. The election is in two weeks.

Watering the garden just now reminded me why I hate bats so much. So many bats 🦇

So Google bought out Fitbit and now it’s retarded half the time. It told me I was doing great for going for a swim and I was fishing. 🤨 like…..? Excuse me?

My entire feed today

🚨 BREAKING: The US military has just carried out an operation which KlLLED the leader of the vioIent Venezuelan gang Tren de Aragua This is EXACTLY what we should be using our military for 🔥 Jocelyn Nungaray and Laken Riley are being AVENGED More of this! 🇺🇸 POTUS: “At my direction, the United States Southern Command delivered a swift and lethal kinetic strike to successfully execute Niño Guerrero, the infamous leader of Tren De Aragua, one of the most bloodthirsty Terrorist Organizations on Planet Earth. Before I returned to office, Joe Biden opened our Southern Border to millions of Illegal Criminals, and allowed this foreign army to rape, maim, and murder American Citizens with total impunity. During my Campaign, I pledged to expel these monsters from our Country, and bring Justice to the families of those they slaughtered, including the precious 12-year-old Jocelyn Nungaray, 22-year-old Laken Reilly, and countless other beautiful souls. With this action, the United States Military has brought retribution for them, their families, and their loved ones. Early in my Administration, I delivered on my promise to designate Tren de Aragua as a Foreign Terrorist Organization, deport thousands of evil criminals, and wage war against the Cartels, who have long been waging war against our Citizens, while weak leaders left America helpless and defensive This action was coordinated closely with our friends in Venezuela, with whom we are working very well. As a result, Tren de Aragua terrorists no longer have safe haven in Venezuela or anywhere else and, under my leadership, we will find these vicious murderers and drugs lords anytime, anyplace, and send them to the depths of hell where they belong. GOD BLESS AMERICA! President DONALD J. TRUMP”

Forgot this funny little tidbit Yesterday while shopping at Sam’s Club we asked my 5 year old what she’d like to have for dinner this week Her: I want that thing that you rip its spine out Me: Five seconds later…. Me: oooooh she means spatchcock chicken and potatoes 💀🫣