Joined March 2009
- Tweets 131,812
- Following 3,226
- Followers 12,639
- Likes 136,018
58 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
23 Jul 2023
I just want a love like Swayze and Demi in 'Ghost', where I'm dead for the whole time.
1
26
46
4,095
15 Jan 2024
I hate having a bunch of coworkers with awful B.O. But this is part of the fun at the morgue.
1
5
941
3 Jan 2024
My clairvoyant told me that people who believe in ghosts need to grow up and snap back to reality.
2
3
790
21 Dec 2023
Reach out to me when your first 15 preferences didn't answer.
2
610
21 Dec 2023
Too bad the love of your life won't be able to manipulate and change you into being the love of her life.
3
464
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
14 May 2020
Whoever invented the coffee table must have been like “fuck every other drink”.
3
71
559
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
5 Jan 2015
Judas: still on for Friday?
Jesus: Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas
562
68,590
135,754
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
6 Nov 2023
Apart from my actions what the hell did I do to deserve this
7
559
2,530
172,993
19 Dec 2023
Sometimes they'll throw shit at you. You've just got to laugh in their faeces.
1
2
437
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
19 Dec 2023
I switch off the light and say to the new cat, “Turn on your night vision.” It's so sweet your teeth will hurt.
1
51
121
5,934
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
19 Dec 2023
The dominant male in a herd of reindeer is called the maindeer send tweet
4
77
226
11,896
28 Nov 2023
My kid drank an entire bottle of 'No More Tears' and it made his crying even worse.
3
7
908
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
14 Sep 2023
Got banned for life from the vet's for calling the person who operated on my cat a 'furgeon'.
9
81
178
10,596
16 Sep 2023
It appears that my emotional support taipans have not been appreciated at the nursing home.
3
5
1,044
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
23 Jul 2023
I just want a love like Swayze and Demi in 'Ghost', where I'm dead for the whole time.
1
26
46
4,095
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
29 Jul 2023
Killian: “Hi, I’m Killian”
Ian: “I’m Wendy”
3
9
613
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
4 Mar 2019
I taught myself how to play the drums and I'm not very good at it. How can I tell if I'm a bad drummer or a bad teacher?
9
48
92
Nicken Drumsticks retweeted
25 Jul 2023
HBO Max is now Max? Twitter is now X? I guess corporate identity is fluid.
1
40
102
6,557