@sofarrsogud profile picture
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud

🖊️ Some of my tweets are crafted like a sculpture from a block of wood. Others are pumped out like farts.

Joined February 2013
  • Tweets 166,137
  • Following 5,835
  • Followers 21,701
7,682 Photos and videos
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
24 Jun 2024
Got banned for life from working in McDonald's on my first day for shouting YES McCHEF every time an order came in.
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His palms are freezing Pulse weak Chest is wheezing It started off as sneezing Allergy season.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
@MoMohler
Mar 2
At night the sun is called the moon. Grow up people.
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A hydration break in a 20 degree celcius air conditioned, roofed stadium. Absolute bullshit. These are no more than ad breaks. #WorldCup
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
⊹٭𝚆𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚔٭⊹
@metickleu
Jun 14
Gen X is the only generation that can fix the printer, reset the Wi-Fi, and still not remember why we walked into the kitchen.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Lurkin' Mom@LurkAtHomeMom
Jun 13
How is this song playing on an oldies station, it literally just came out 40 years ago.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Avogadro’s House of Moles@schumoo
Jun 13
Hi, I'm Jeremy and I'm a tweet bookmarker. Group: Hi Jeremy I just bookmarked a tweet in the hallway. *audible gasps*
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Darla
@ddsmidt
Jun 12
Of course I believe pushing the elevator call button over and over will make it come faster.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Pasta Fazool
@chrisdowning
Jun 13
My dog's food looks like Cocoa Puffs, but doesn't taste like it.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Bands FC@_Bands_FC
Jun 12
Love this the B side, Dafty Is Playing In Ma Hoose, is brilliant too

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Avogadro’s House of Moles@schumoo
Jun 12
*eating a radish as big as my head* I'm embarrassed for you.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
@MoMohler
Jun 12
currently lifemaxxing at the hospital
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Μαρια Κιτρινη@greek_heanen
Jun 12
There is a fine line, between loving your pet and worshiping it like a god, and cats don't seem willing to forget that old egyptian success story
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Lionella 🌸@x_zaich
Jun 12
diversifying my portfolio across beef and chicken stock. if the market simmers nicely, could become the world’s first bouillonaire
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO
Apr 13
Today, I want to talk about falling down. Why I'm always doing it, why people laugh, what I'm going to do when I get up.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Blather Wince Repeat@xerxesbigboy
Jun 12
My heart resents being in a so-called ‘rib cage.’ It’s about trust.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
Jimbob@Jimbob10441721
Jun 12
I hate people who think the whole fucking world revolves around them because it revolves around me.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
@MoMohler
Jun 12
I'm like George Costanza if he had "no aura."
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The Azteca is a proper football heritage stadium. Pele and Maradona both winning World Cups there. A perfect place to kick it all off. #WorldCup
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WIFE: *scrolling Facebook* Omg there's an ostrich missing from the zoo ME: *barely audible* Lostrich HER: Get out!
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweeted
fightgeek@fightgeek
May 26
you pass by on your run. i'm in the front yard reading a perfectly translated voynich manuscript to six dogs
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