the goat of all time.
Joined December 2008
- Tweets 93,176
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i recently found out i live 5 mins away from the jersey shore’s mike The Situation sorrentino and now i constantly see him driving around town in his lifted brown jeep gladiator. i just saw him leaving shoprite. what if we became friends. what if The Situation were my best friend
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i did a design sprint for the BEN SOLO pitch and i regret to inform you the movie would have been sick. rip.
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my two-year-old often asks me what strangers’ names are and i always make up something weird like Shubby or Bembo and apparently she’s been paying attention because we saw a deer on the way home and i heard her say quietly to herself in the back seat “i think his name is…Jimbus”
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today my child has achieved her dream of being alive in the world for one full year and has received a promotion from Baby to Toddler. she likes the grocery store and dancing and she shoots 93% from the foul line. she is a monkey so i made her a banana cake.
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bobby retweeted
15 Apr 2023
(Repairing wrecked boat village boy approaches with picture from my pack) Bahu bah? {Monster}
Me: No bahu bah. Marmaduke…Buha bet {Friend}
Boy: Mar-ma-duke…Your?
Me: Not mine. Everybodys. {confused look} he is…like Wind. Everyones
Boy {grinning} Marmaduke is like Wind
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“ohhhhh boo hoo i’m unfulfilled in life i don’t know what to do” literally just have a baby, wait for the baby to grow some teeth, then go to a bakery on a sunny saturday morning and buy a croissant and share little bites of the croissant with the baby. it’s not that complicated.
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