oh good, the rats are here
Joined June 2014
- Tweets 3,088
- Following 306
- Followers 263
- Likes 7,235
451 Photos and videos
11 Sep 2024
goodbye brat summer, hello transgender alien abortion prison (taap) fall
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Bren retweeted
24 Jul 2024
>>> Kids interview @KamalaHarris
"I don't like Donald Trump."
"Me either."
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24 Jun 2024
my new favorite zinger I came up with when someone is being cranky is “yikes who changed the setting on YOUR garden hose???”
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Bren retweeted
30 May 2024
On Covfefe Day no less
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1 May 2024
Every self-help book post 2019:
“How to Unfuck Your Life”
“The Secret to Fucking the System”
“5,001 Ways to Drink Fucking Water”
“The Importance of Subtlety when Fucking Around and Finding Out”
“Fucking the Fuck without Bitching a Shit”
“~inspirely~”
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10 Oct 2023
took an edible last night and watched this episode. During this scene, I said “it’s very…German. It’s giving Brother’s Grimm”
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15 Sep 2023
this snap memory from 3 years ago popped up and it feels like a liminal dreamscape
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25 Jul 2023
you are the jet setting on the garden hose of life and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
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26 May 2023
still the craziest thing to have ever happened to me
19 Jun 2017
UPDATE WE FOUND A PILE OF SLICED ONIONS ON OUR SIDEWALK OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE OFFICIALLY THE WEIRDEST DAY EVER
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Bren retweeted
21 Apr 2023
the new york sewer rats have finally elected a new rat pope
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20 Apr 2023
why don’t TV shows and movies have what the characters wore as part of the credits? I always want what they’re wearing and can never find them
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22 Apr 2023
I specifically want this shirt Dani Rojas is wearing in the most recent episode of Ted Lasso called “Sunflowers”
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Bren retweeted
12 Apr 2023
ted lasso s3 is for the gays... and jamie tartt, you're next ! 💏
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15 Apr 2023
adulthood is just realizing everything has a filter and every single one is dirty and it’s all your fault
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9 Mar 2023
Saying someone has a “smooth brain” is such a top tier insult. Telling them to “fuck off” is one thing, but to equate someone’s intellect to a more primitive species whose gyri and sulci (brain lumps/folds) are essentially buffed out by a metaphorical zamboni?? *chef’s kiss*
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