Makes me think of my family in Sheffield all watching same show and hope you find this as funny as we did.

Scotty #KeepsItRunning

Is the camera man half asleep in this game? Keep up man! #BRAMAR

😂Right! Introduce yourself, make some small talk

#AddACatchphraseToASong Never saddle a dead horse with no name

If Sherlock Holmes was such a great detective how come he never caught Jack the Ripper?

#IfIWereAGangster I'd be Spocko.

#WeShouldAllCelebrate special days but just not all the time, it’s so exhausting. This week it was.. National Iced Tea Day National Corn on the Cob Day Bring your fish to work day. Hug a co-worker day and Donate a Doobie day.

You have an hourglass figure but #IThoughtYouCouldUse a little more sand

After charging me $100 #TheFortuneTellerToldMe she pictured me making love to a beautiful woman. I think she saw me coming.

#IThoughtYouCouldUse a little good news but I checked and there is none.

#IThoughtYouCouldUse a P

#TheOnlyTechnologyIUse is wife eye.

i took a 45-minute uber ride home from the airport last night after a brutal, three-day business trip. i was completely emotionally and physically drained, and my social battery was at absolute zero. when i got into the car, the driver.. an older guy named kabir.. didn't say the usual "how was your flight?" or turn on the radio. instead, he just handed me a small, laminated piece of paper attached to the back of his headrest. it was a literal "ride menu." it said: 1. *the silent ride* (total quiet, no pressure to talk). 2. *the therapist ride* (if you need to vent about your day, i am listening). 3. *the tourist ride* (i will tell you cool facts about the city). 4. *the radio ride* (we just listen to old jazz and coast). i smiled, pointed to number 1, and whispered, "silent ride, please. thank you." he gave me a warm nod in the rearview mirror, adjusted the AC, and drove the entire 45 minutes in absolute, beautiful silence. it was the most peaceful, therapeutic boundary i’ve experienced all year. i felt my entire nervous system finally reset. when he dropped me off, i gave him a massive tip and told him, "that menu is a genius business idea. you must get amazing reviews." He looked back at me and said, "i didn't make the menu to get better tips, dear. my daughter has severe social anxiety, and she told me that the hardest part of her day is navigating small talk with strangers when her brain is tired. she told me it feels like running a marathon. i made the card so that anyone who gets into my car can feel completely safe dropping the mask for a little while." i walked into my apartment and just sat on my suitcase. we live in a world that is constantly screaming at us to perform, to network, to be "on," and to over-communicate. but sometimes, the deepest form of love and respect you can show another human being is just creating a small, safe pocket of silence for them to rest in. pay attention to the people who give you permission to be quiet. they are rare.

Apparently if you live near an A.I. Data Centre and have an electric car the hours that you charge your vehicle may be restricted so not to disrupt operations during peak periods.

If you mention Hunter Biden in a tweet will he reply?

Happy birthday #BrianCox. Seen here in a titanic tussle with Terry McCann in the brilliant series 3 #Minder episode In. Doesn’t get much better than this..

#MyJune2026Plans include not winning the lottery, hating Mondays, getting fatter and despairing at the state of the world.

“It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it” -George Carlin youtu.be/cKUaqFzZLxU?si=FFkH…

I #NoticedUnderMySurveillance that when I put a glass to the wall I could hear my neighbors listening to me. Weirdos.