dog with hamburger
Joined May 2010
- Tweets 10,285
- Following 927
- Followers 11,920
- Likes 143,484
1,934 Photos and videos
adam retweeted
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13 Jun 2025
i want to get an old time jalopy horn installed on my car. i bet it feels so good to hit someone who pisses you off in traffic with a big “AWOOGA”
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5 Jun 2025
big boobs are probably one of the coolest things ever invented
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3 Jun 2025
just came across this clip from unsolved mysteries again that is one of the best things i’ve ever seen on tv
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29 May 2025
showing up to a construction job telling everyone david lynch owned these tools while they just say “ok”
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11 Mar 2025
tired of orbs. inventing a new shape of prophetic object to gaze into
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Burger is short for hamburger which was a twist on the popular early 20th dish "hamburg steak" which is a patty of ground meat, you can't just extract the "burg" and apply it to whatever you want, please respect our classification system
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adam retweeted
8 Feb 2025
Kanye in heaven: I did it mama! I left the Democratic plantation and now I’m a Nazi! I love Hitler, mama!
Donda: [voice muffled by comically large breasts] That’s awesome baby
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3 Jan 2025
if i’m holding a door open and you walk out the adjacent closed door, know that i have placed a curse upon your family for seven generations
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20 Dec 2024
steve carell santa: no! god no! no! please!
awkwafina: what is you talmbout
20 Dec 2024
CHUTE TO KILL—
Contained Christmas thriller starring Steve Carell as Santa who is quite literally stuck in the chimney, with Aquafina as head elf dispatched to extract him—
But the twist is terrorists have taken the house family hostage 🔫🎄🎅🏼🧝🏽👨👩👧👦
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adam retweeted
The secret’s out: I helped ghostwrite Korn’s upcoming album!
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23 Nov 2024
“hoda kotb was married to burzis kanga” is going to become a phrase that sticks in my brain i fear
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23 Nov 2024
been thinking about it a lot and i think im ready to announce my theory. mr clean is bi. he’s just straight up horny as hell and he will fuck and suck with anyone and make sure you have a good time and also clean it up after.
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22 Nov 2024
what is the most “butt” butt rock song? i kinda think it’s seven mary three’s “cumbersome”
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20 Nov 2024
upton sinclair fucked up not opening his book with “welcome to the jungle”
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