Creative Director. Hoarder of unfinished projects. Twins plus one. Strong opinions about cereal. Toronto/Melbourne/Edinburgh π
Joined May 2010
- Tweets 89,252
- Following 888
- Followers 2,246
- Likes 47,884
7,936 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
2 Mar 2019
Told my daughter to eat at least half of the banana...
Well, she's not wrong, but definitely a psychopath.
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13 Jul 2024
The last of the guinea piggies is now gone. At least he went in his sleep! πͺπ
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11 Jul 2024
Targeted IG ads are getting too on the nose..or, uh, stomach.
Also, fuck off
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4 Jul 2024
So, what would you do if your lifetime rockstar crush walked across the stage directly to you at the end of the concert, took off his shirt, pointed at you & then gave you the shirt??? Because that just happened to me & I'm still recovering. Thank you π
ALT Stephen Jenkins from Third Eye Blind
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23 Jun 2024
Him, flipping channels.
Me, from another room, hears the first 5 seconds of the opening music & yells: "CHASING AMY."
Him, yelling back: "Seriously, how the fuck?!" π€£
cc: @ThatKevinSmith
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5 Jun 2024
Just watched 2 teens collect cigarette butts off the ground to (I'm assuming) smoke later. HOW IS THAT STILL A THING THAT HAPPENS.
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3 Jun 2024
Just had to explain to my 10yo daughter what the taint is... how is everyone else's Monday morning going?
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Christina Evans π¨ retweeted
30 May 2024
Iβve got the opportunity to do the funniest thing everβ¦
30 May 2024
Wolverineβs wide empty mouth from the βDEADPOOL & WOLVERINEβ popcorn bucket.
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Christina Evans π¨ retweeted
28 May 2024
Thread of movie scenes inspired by art π§΅
1. Shutter Island - Klimt's Kiss
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27 May 2024
Me: "Uh-uh, Pendleton. The, um, the white cake with the sweet frost."
Him: I don't know her.
#IYKYK
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Christina Evans π¨ retweeted
25 May 2024
I've seen miles of train graffiti but I've never seen anything like this..
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25 May 2024
IF THEY AREN'T CALLED "CLEVER GIRLS", I DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT. jkjk β€οΈ
Yesterday was a success!
Weβre still celebrating the announcement of the newest WNBA franchise coming to Toronto π¨π¦
#WelcometotheW
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20 May 2024
Finally got around to adding the decal I bought a decade ago. π€£ @The_SecretStash
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Christina Evans π¨ retweeted
12 May 2024
put a fried egg on my croque monsieur to make it a croque madame and now jk rowling is outside my house yelling
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12 May 2024
Until chip/crisp bags come resealable, I consider them all single serving.
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10 May 2024
Geese walking across the road: "Get the fuck off, you demon cobra chickens!"
Geese walking across the road with a half dozen goslings:
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