(she/her) writer & teacher / see more at chloecole.biz / rep by @jacarrr
Joined March 2011
- Tweets 1,527
- Following 301
- Followers 459
- Likes 9,476
88 Photos and videos
23 Oct 2022
“I don’t care what galaxy this is and how long ago, NOBODY would name their kid ‘Mon Mothma’” - me, a woman named Chloe Cole
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16 Oct 2022
Number one sign your friend has lived in NYC too long and you’ve lost them to the city is if they try to convince you that Tate’s are the best chocolate chip cookies in the world
8 Oct 2022
If you didn’t spend hours agonizing over what to name your Sims, I don’t want to read your novel
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5 Oct 2022
Hmmm okay what if there was a world where I showed someone love and didn’t torment them with endless hypotheticals?
12 Sep 2022
Grass stains were such a big part of my life as a kid. When’s the last time you got a bit of green on your knees??? I miss it. I desperately need someone to drag me facefirst through a field.
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5 Sep 2022
I’m not afraid of the data gathering done on apps cuz I’m busy doing my own data gathering about how fucked up you all are
23 Aug 2022
Went to traffic court today where a woman revealed she’d been driving like normal even though she hadn’t had a driver’s license since 2010 & when asked why she didn’t get her license again she said “I didn’t know where to start with all that” which…honestly…same
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21 Aug 2022
Horror movies love to be like “The Party” or “The Retreat” and then it’s like “Okay so the twist is… you actually DON’T want to go to THIS party…”
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20 Aug 2022
every man I’ve ever dated: I love your style, your clothes are so cool
me: thanks! I think this shirt would look good on you
them: THIS shirt??? This shirt is INSANE, I’d rather be shot into space than ever be seen in this, you don’t know wtf you’re talking about
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1 Aug 2022
Giving someone a wedgie is…erotic, right? Why was that a touchstone of bullies in the late 20th Century? Why are you grabbing someone’s underwear and yanking it towards you???
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24 Jul 2022
the most attractive thing a man on a dating app can do is be really kind, respectful and supportive towards his wife.
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20 Jul 2022
there’s an interesting phenomenon where men on dating apps will say, “you seem like a wonderful person” before you’ve met them and it’s sad because I would never say that to a man I’ve never met or even one I’ve known 10 years
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15 Jul 2022
Maybe this is controversial, but I don’t think anyone should have to be sad ever
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13 Jul 2022
I’m 31 years old and what I’ve learned is this: if my stomach is upset, it’s because there’s something wrong in my life, and if I’m upset, there’s something wrong in my stomach
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12 Jul 2022
Please don’t forget that we have a very catchy theme song that @smashbert_ wrote & sang
12 Jul 2022
You should listen to my podcast SORRY NEVER SEEN IT! Each week @chlocol @smashbert_ and I discuss a random episode of reality tv and give our very strong opinions about it! And follow us on Instagram (sorryneverseenit_thepod)
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