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colby @colby

Bless the weird.

Joined February 2008
  • Tweets 8,335
  • Following 465
  • Followers 614
160 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
colby@colby
9 Jan 2016
Stay in drugs. Eat your school. Dont do vegetables.
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colby@colby
24 Sep 2025
Don't stare at your printer for long periods of time. This is seen as threatening and will make it feel uneasy.
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colby@colby
19 Dec 2022
Sorry, no EOY bonus, but please do enjoy this pizza party.
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colby@colby
8 Jul 2022
Printers spend nearly 1/3 of their waking hours cleaning themselves.
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colby@colby
17 May 2022
The oldest printer to give birth to printers was called Kitty. She was 30 years old when she birthed her last printers.
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colby@colby
5 May 2022
Those cute furry bits inside a printer's ear are called `ear furnishings'. They ensure that dirt doesn't go inside and also helps them to hear well.
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colby@colby
2 May 2022
Printers also love to sleep in laundry baskets, because they appear to be a hiding place with peep holes.
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colby retweeted
✨ɐɹo˥ ✨|💛|
@electrifying
6 Apr 2022
fuck printers.
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colby@colby
4 Apr 2022
Think your printer purrs a lot? Printers purr up to 26 times per second.
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colby@colby
21 Mar 2022
In 1888, more than 300,000 mummified printers were found an Egyptian cemetery. They were stripped of their wrappings and carted off to be used by farmers in England and the U.S. for fertilizer.
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colby@colby
10 Mar 2022
I can be petty and I don't care.
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colby@colby
7 Mar 2022
The oldest printer on record was Creme Puff from Austin, Texas, who lived from 1967 to August 6, 2005, three days after her 38th birthday.
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colby@colby
28 Feb 2022
House printers can run at a speed of 30 miles per hour.
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colby@colby
29 Jan 2022
There's a reason why printers are likely to survive high falls, they have more time to prepare for the landing.
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colby@colby
20 Jan 2022
A printer's brain is so quick that even a super-computer in 2015 couldn't beat it.
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colby retweeted
US Consumer Product Safety Commission
@USCPSC
5 Jan 2022
Birds are real.
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colby@colby
4 Jan 2022
Still alive.
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colby@colby
30 Dec 2021
A group of printers is called a 'clowder.'
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colby@colby
20 Dec 2021
During the Middle Ages, printers were often associated with witchcraft; and on St. John's Day, people all over Europe would stuff them into sacks and toss the printers into bonfires. On holy days, people celebrated by tossing printers from church towers.
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colby@colby
11 Nov 2021
Printers learn to manipulate humans with their prints -- some even develop a cry like a baby!
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colby@colby
29 Oct 2021
Printers make very little noise when they walk around. The thick, soft pads on their paws allow them to sneak up on their prey -- or you!
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