Heard an advert for #LastOneLaughingUk and instantly thought @TheRealJackDee would be a contestant. #bringbackshootingstars

Only 6 hours left of being in my 20s… Really not looking forward to turning 30 🥴

4 years ago, I wore the Newcastle jersey for the first time. At that moment, I hadn’t realized that not only was I about to become a Newcastle player, but I was also about to become a Geordie. You might think « nice Goodbye message » but the sentiment runs deeper than any words I could say, from the very first months that I met the people of this city, I truly understood them and embraced their unwavering passion, which is why it was so important for me to give my all and if this meant to play injured or even not making statistics, I didn’t give a sh** as long as it would help my team. Believe me, I fell for Newcastle, I had great opportunities to leave during dark days, but that was too late I was already in love, I wanted, I needed, I had to stay for helping my team to save the club from Premier League relegation because it meant the world for me. Of course during those dark days some may have had their doubts, but I always believed in this club and look where we are today, it's just so beautiful. I'm leaving Newcastle as it should always have been and that's my greatest trophy because I was a part of it. A deep thank you to ALL of you, my team mates, the loyal fans, the staff, the Club, etc… I’ve seen all your messages, thank you and even though this chapter has ended, the story never stops. Newcastle is home now, I'll continue to be your biggest supporter, I'll watch every game and as long as the club keeps winning I'll be the happiest man in the world… and for sure you will see me again 👀 I love you, I love you sincerely, I love you like a Geordie brother. Once a Geordie, always a Geordie 🖤🤍

WE ARE NEWCASTLE UNITED. WE ARE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE! 🙌🙌

Oliver “lovin” his new @RMHC halloween toys. @McDonaldsUK @McDonalds

The Queen died peacefully at Balmoral this afternoon. The King and The Queen Consort will remain at Balmoral this evening and will return to London tomorrow.

Just found this in the loft @StephenMulhern #wow

It is with deep sorrow that Her Majesty The Queen has announced the death of her beloved husband, His Royal Highness The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. His Royal Highness passed away peacefully this morning at Windsor Castle.

This time last year I was in Tenerife & this time two years ago I was in Zante. And I was meant to be in Corfu right now 😢

I’m absolutely gobsmacked @amylouisewitte claims she has never heard “The House of the Rising Sun”.

Don’t think I’ve ever spent this much time off the ice 😕

I really should start replying to people’s texts.

I wondered why the house was hot yesterday. I put the heating on at lunch time and forgot to turn it off until now. 🤦‍♂️

Okay, I’m really starting to miss the ice now.

Global pandemic and @easyJet are still spamming my inbox with £29.99 sunny breaks.

A VERY important message

I have a holiday to Corfu booked for 75 days time. This Coronavirus wants to do one so it doesn’t get cancelled.

I used to love watching #readysteadycook as a kid... I’ve just realised it back on TV, however, where’s @AinsleyFoods?

So the @Jaguar garage are telling me my 3 months old brake discs have corroded and would usually be replaced under warranty... But they won’t do it “just in case” their warranty department won’t pay out for them. #Unbelievable #donteverbuyajaguar