A man's man, with a hint of lavender. Do contact michelle@mlbmanagement.co.uk with any security/rythmic dance enquiries.

Joined August 2010
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My new column. Now with correct discount code: FLATMANXV Read it. Or don’t. X
🚨 New columnist alert 🚨 The incomparable @davidflatman has joined @TheXV growing stable of writers. Here he waxes lyrical on the personal pain of Test non-selection and Eddie Jones' idiosyncrasies 🏉 thexv.rugby/2020/10/22/selec…
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David Flatman retweeted
Rugby and telly megastar (his words) @davidflatman reckons @BathRugby will win the Prem again this season and that @Ben_spencer9 is "simply brilliant" in an interview with @TonyRedondo5 of Cosmos Currency Exchange.
🗣️ “I wouldn’t be shocked with four wins this Autumn.” 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 David Flatman weighs in on ‘mega’ England back-row option and predicts ‘dripping’ Prem winners planetrugby.com/news/david-f…
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Not enough bald Lions these days. Game’s gone lads. 👨‍🦲 So I’ve picked my All-Time Bald Lions XV @bld_bro - and it’s decent. Happy with it like? #ad #bldbro #nohairdontcare #Lions2025
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Just whack a pea-sized amount on and you’ll be moisturised, mattified and - most importantly - protected for the day, just like little old bald me. Stay safe in the sun y’all ☀️ #ad #spf #bldbro
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REVEAL TIME 👀 Jusss jokesssss obvy… I’ve been bald most of my adult life… and still am. No Hair. Don’t Care. That’s why I’m proud to be an ambassador for @bld_bro - the very best skincare for baldies like me. Keep those lids safe in the sun, fellas 👊 ☀️ #ad #cueball
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Had to be done… been hairless too long. And as my late Nana always asked in situations like this: What would Meatloaf do?
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Now this man will be hard to replace. Machine.
𝙀𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 Thank you JL, it’s been an absolute honour to watch you in a Sharks jersey over the years! One of the hardest hitters who leaves everything out on the field week in, week out. You will be hugely missed on and off the field. Read more here 👉 tinyurl.com/2w3htkk2
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So good. Recommended by @BenKay5 with good reason. 🤓
Thread: How Come Adam Radwan Scores More Tries Now? It might sound simple, but how come Radwan is scoring more tries for the Tigers than he did with the Falcons? The answer is more complicated than you think and heavily impacts recruitment. Data by @Oval_Insights 1)
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I'm supporting @MNDoddie5 who are trying to raise £25,000 for their "Doddie's Grand Tour - Team London Scottish" campaign. You can join their campaign or make a donation on their @giveasyoulive page > donate.giveasyoulive.com/cam…
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David Flatman retweeted
29 Jan 2025
So many talking points ahead of the #GuinnessM6N 👀 Watch @davidflatman & @Claire_GThomas discuss Ireland & England in-depth on our YouTube channel now 👇 youtu.be/sBKO3Ocfahw
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David Flatman retweeted
With a certain amount of trepidation, I'm posting this open letter to @elonmusk, someone I have admired, but who, right now, is causing me concern. I know I'm not alone in thinking these thoughts. Please like or repost if you're willing... And Elon, if you're listening, please know this is offered in a constructive spirit. ----- Dear Elon, A thought hit me this morning. On top of all your achievements in technology and entrepreneurship, you have become this century's single most influential writer.  You have more than 200 million followers on a powerful platform that you yourself control. And the words that you write flow well beyond just those followers into almost every user of X and far beyond courtesy of extensive media coverage.   This makes Rupert Murdoch at his prime seem inconsequential. It must feel exhilarating. You made a huge gamble buying Twitter and it seems to have paid off spectacularly to the point that you can use it to massively impact the world, including changing governments.  You believe that X can largely replace most mainstream media. It is the new platform for citizen journalism, and you are citizen number 1.  You don’t need the hassle of editors and fact-checkers. Every single thing you post garners millions of likes and reposts. In a heartbeat you can change the global conversation.  No one in history has had this much power. So there’s a lot at stake here, and, as it happens, journalism is something I care deeply about. I began my career as a journalist because I believed that good journalism was essential for the healthy functioning of democracy. Today I am worried — quite deeply worried, actually — that in your triumphant seizing of the global conversation, some of the core tenets of journalism are being forgotten. Without them, I think your efforts to make X the respected home of citizen journalism will fail. There are numerous journalistic principles that matter — Grok can summarize them quite nicely. But there’s one in particular that’s been troubling me. It’s the fairness doctrine. The one that says that before you publish savagely critical claims about an individual, or an institution, you reach out to them for their side of the story. After all, just possibly, you may have missed a key fact or two that would change how people assess what has happened. Just possibly your sources were motivated to cause damage to that individual. Just possibly there’s an alternative explanation of what happened. So, for example, when you tell hundreds of millions of people that someone should be hanged or jailed for outrageous crimes against humanity, just possibly you should first sound out what those who know those people really well would say about them. Some of your recent posts could literally get someone killed. Do you really want to risk that? How is it possible that you can do this at the very same time that you’re calling on people to make X more positive, more beautiful?  You say you want to maximize un-regretted user-seconds on X.  By far the simplest way you could do this, Elon, is simply to thoughtfully edit what you yourself post. I get that from your eyes the issues you are championing are unbelievably important and worthy of extreme efforts. But the way you are presenting them is not citizen journalism. It's playground bullying. It’s crass and it’s cruel, and it’s therefore not nearly as effective as it could be.  You’re hearing the cheers of your most loyal followers, but missing the fact you’re making yourself a laughing stock among many who you really want on your side. Long-term that’s going to damage X, your other businesses, and indeed your long-term dreams for humanity.  No one wants to follow a playground bully to Mars. I miss the old Elon. You can be funny, interesting, insightful and inspiring. You've fought incredibly hard for what you've built. And you may feel you're entitled to do whatever the hell you want with it. But I also know that you understand the danger of holding too tightly to the ring of power, how it can distort someone's judgement and turn them ugly. I’m hoping you can loosen that ring just a little. For the love of humanity that you profess, I really urge you to embrace the fairness doctrine and showcase a better face of X. Thanks for listening. Chris
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Sale look absolutely the full ticket in Bristol. What a turnaround from last week for the Bears. Not sure I’ve seen owt like it. And the Curry boys look like they were scientifically created with rugby union in mind. Machines.
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Tesla door handles. Rubbish. You shouldn’t have to work out how to open a car door. I see too many folks confused as they try to board their Ubers and it ain’t right!
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Agreed. No hyperbole here.
Premiership back in stellar fashion. Bristol are giving one of the greatest displays of attacking rugby the league has seen, at Quins. Breathtaking.
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An outrageous game at The Stoop. Bristol rampant, utterly relentless, targeted. Looked brilliantly coached in attack, not just chucking it about. 10 of them could have won POTM… 🐻
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Careful. I mooted this idea on the @jimhamilton4 podcast and got plenty of what I believe they call ‘pelters’ on here… might have been a good sign…
Sam, I have been writing about the abolition of the jackal for years. Current players cannot envisage a game without it.
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David Flatman retweeted
The current "beef" between the All Blacks and Ireland told through "The Shining". Starring Johnny Sexton and Reiko Ioane #IREvNZL
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Also, Genge and Will Stuart immense today. Proper good. Bye now!
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Don’t tweet too much these days but I’ll tweet to say this: Twickenham was incredible today. Best I’ve heard it, maybe ever. Primarily as it was such a mega game, but also because the fans being able to hear the ref took it up a notch. Cunningham-South Sititi = Box Office.
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🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
Great shifts from Flats and Topsy, but don’t fear - new show “Gallagher @premrugby Unleashed” debuts on @ITV this Wednesday @ 11.45am - and online on @ITVX
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