🌲 American dad
Joined December 2010
- Tweets 6,575
- Following 266
- Followers 509
- Likes 59,796
589 Photos and videos
Josh Pedro retweeted
Jun 8
Person who is utterly, completely self-absorbed: "Gosh, why is everyone being so mean to me"
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Jun 6
Big if true!
20 Oct 2024
Ball sunning tip:
You don’t need perfect seclusion. All you need is the right angle.
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Jun 5
My 6yo daughter is dancing around the living room of my beautiful home belting Jimmy Eat World at the top of her lungs
We made it, bros
Never doom
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Josh Pedro retweeted
Jun 3
How your gf looks at you when you tell her to give back the Fish Fleece because its fleece with shorts weather
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Jun 2
My approach to local Judo tournaments
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Josh Pedro retweeted
May 26
>guy who gets oneshotted by Hiroshi Nagai's pool paintings
It's me
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Josh Pedro retweeted
"Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents and everyone is writing a book."
— Cicero, 43 BCE
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May 25
Big if true!
Jaguarundi is one of the strangest wild cats. It chirps, whistles, eats fruit, and is friends with Monkeys.
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May 24
“You think DoorDash is your friend? I was born in the darkness, graduating into the Great Recession. I have lived on canned tuna fish and handles of cheap liquor, and I’ll do it again”
May 23
Gen Z got the short end of the stick but they simply do not understand delayed gratification.
Millennials and Gen X drove beaters and packed sandwiches. We didn’t buy luxury until our 30s. Millennial women had one Coach clutch and would pregame with plastic bottles of vodka.
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Apr 18
Doing a little weekend millennial maxxing:
- avo toast 3x daily
- one grappling practice then walking around groaning
- vinyl on the record player
- hazy IPAs (I’m done apologizing for them)
- cool hat
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Josh Pedro retweeted
Mar 27
Guy at Dunkin hit me with one of these when I asked if I could grab a straw
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Josh Pedro retweeted
Mar 20
You were never meant to change your habits in the dead of winter.
That’s why they made “New Year’s Day” in January (look up who was behind that one). To keep you a slave to habit. To keep you from locking in.
Until 1752, Protestant Britain’s New Year fell on March 25th. Protestants rioted when the government bowed to the pressure of foreign merchants and adopted the papist calendar.
Tonight is the night that our oldest steppe ancestors celebrated the New Year. Spring is here, and with it the possibility of change. Now is the time to make your resolutions.
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Feb 17
SMH. Wouldn’t even let them be a state at this point
Feb 16
Canada is a failed state.
Busted for cheating in Curling.
Losing hockey fights to the French.
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Feb 2
When your kids hit you with this stuff, they’re basically saying, “hey, I was just trying to remind you in a whimsical way that I’m quite literally a magical being—and your living reminder not to take it all so seriously—and u were too stressed about ‘work’ to get it”. Hits hard
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Jan 23
Made myself a mid century dad snack (Rob Roy cheese and crackers) and immediately thought of @owroot
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23 Dec 2025
Clear eyes, full hearts, Bear down 🫡
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4 Dec 2025
Gang, we’re so hyped for Bears Packers we have people doing pregame analysis on the ref crew
3 Dec 2025
Here’s the full ref outlook for Bears-Packers.
➡️ What jumped out at me is why the Bears offense especially needs to play very clean
“Noteworthy, 61% of Wrolstad PRE-SNAP infractions are being assessed on the ROAD team in 2025”
Bears did a great job on the road in Philly with penalties — had half as many penalty yards as season average
Suppressing crowd noise by playing well early & from ahead helped. Let’s hope for the same at Lambeau
➡️ Players will be fired up but Bears need to keep their heads and play to the line without crossing it or losing their temper
No late hits, disengage in scuffles etc
Wrolstad’s crew tends to run a tight ship on things like that.
And it’s not just shoving. His crew is sticklers in penalizing taunting etc too
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3 Dec 2025
In a world of menswear posters, this random almost-cowboy's commentary may be the only menswear post that ever made any sense
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30 Nov 2025
“And then she became Hitl0r and got assassinated by a cup of water. The end”
28 Nov 2025
the wicked witch of the west entrance in wicked for good will go down as one of the greatest character introductions in history
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