Joined September 2018
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Jun 9
Meditation retreats hit totally different when they're in the remote Colorado wilderness. Come backpacking with @WystanTBS and me next month! DM for details!
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Vivid Void retweeted
I know that growing up you learned to hide what you really need and want instead of just saying it.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but you're going to have to find that courage to change it.
If you don't you inevitably become a manipulator trying to get what you need indirectly without being vulnerable.
In the end, all that does is lower others' trust in you and get you even less of what you need.
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 12
are u a good person or do u lack the courage to be evil
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You may not like hearing this, but a lot of mental illnesses are not healed by being your authentic self. They're healed by acting like someone who's healthy in the way you aren't. It doesn't feel good. You don't fix society. You do it by being strong when you don't feel like it
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In fact, the moments at which you feel weakest and most unable to change are precisely the moments where taking a step - any step, any size, any distance - will make a huge difference
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When a toxic rumor starts spreading about you, it has nothing to do with people genuinely believing it. Society wants you to think people are just hateful, gullible, or easily manipulated. Society is wrong! You’re watching a primitive tribal instinct play out in real time. The toxic gossiper fires first & everyone who joins is not looking for truth, but for social unity. If you never understand that, you will hand them your confidence without a fight. That mob is always designed to tear down the strongest person in the room. Psychology calls this the bandwagon effect or collective cowardice. They don’t actually hate you, they’re actually just terrified of being the next target.
Bullying people is so sick! Social media is truly dying for me. Especially Twitter, seeing the way y’all talk about another human makes me so sad. And I can’t fight you all over it either.
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Jun 12
This is why spirituality is useless unless you put it into practice, btw. You do not actually hold any beliefs that haven't been tested
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 12
The CDC states:
1 in 3 men are abused by an intimate partner, mostly women.
1 in 3 women are abused by an intimate partner, mostly men.
The catch: the CDC further specifies 1 in 7 men experience *severe* physical assault, discounting shoving, slapping, etc.
The 1 in 3 women stat does not discount these same actions as they're not "severe" enough.
It's always surprising to people when I post studies that show most abused women are seen in hospitals for bruises. Please note I am not minimizing their injuries. A bruise hurts, but it also indicates a relationship where that woman has been terrorized, made fearful, felt helpless. Where she now has betrayal trauma, not only with her partner, but herself. This matters just as much as her bruise.
All I'm saying is bruises hurt men in the same way. Intimate partner abuse harms men, even if not "severe." It's well past the time to stop demanding that men be "abused enough" to matter.
apa.org/news/press/releases/…
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Jun 12
Prediction: after AGI, many parts of life will remain stressful and difficult, even as life gets exponentially easier. The ability to tolerate frustration and distress will only become more valuable.
One of the best skills you can develop now is a willingness to be miserable.
Tyler Cowen's recent talk on what will matter post AGI was really good.
Buy: embodiment, physicality, charisma, looksmaxxing, taking the initiative
Sell: writing, being a managerial elite, universities
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Jun 11
The inner critic is a predator in the mental ecosystem. Unconstrained, it will kill absolutely everything it can, including you. But if there isn't enough inner criticism, you become bloated and complacent, and whatever virtue you had devolves into performance and emptiness
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 11
Everybody wants to be enlightened, nobody wants to do the fucking dishes. the highest thing you can be as a human being is not the thing you understood, it's the thing you did. some guy who can't spell his own name right but built a house with his two hands that actually stands is closer to God than any man who read a thousand books and never moved his thumb for anyone else. not because he prayed because he made a thing exist that didn't exist before, and that's what God did, and that's all anybody is asking you to do
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 9
Meditation retreats hit totally different when they're in the remote Colorado wilderness. Come backpacking with @WystanTBS and me next month! DM for details!
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Jun 11
Maybe the biggest confusion in Western Dharma is the set of instructions for what happens during spiritual practice vs. how to live your daily life. You should sit like a mountain, preferring nothing. You should be a human with many strong preferences when not on the cushion
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Vivid Void retweeted
"Do you want to see what human eyes have never seen? Look at the moon.
Do you want to hear what ears have never heard?Listen to the bird's cry.
Do you want to touch what hands have never touched? Touch the earth.
Verily I say that God is about to create the world."
- Borges
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 11
this is good advice
conforms nicely with and expands on other dating tips for young men
Jun 10
You must understand the role that feeling special plays in most women's sexuality. She must be special to you, and you must be special to her. EXCEPT. When you are not fucking special, bro, you follow the rules like everyone else. And most importantly, when SHE is not special, and needs to be treated as totally worthless. But only by you.
You will never discover some objective, female-of-the-species logic behind these fluctuations, because there is none. The woman you love's mood will change, unpredictably, according to some combination of life circumstance, whimsy, hormones, the dream she had last night, and sometimes, whatever is going on with her friends. You can not "understand" a woman in a way that you can grasp with your mind. But over time, if you relax, and stop trying to solve her like a puzzle, her unique patterns will begin to surface. Your surprise victories and half-glimpsed revelations will start to whisper wordless truths that vibrate softly against the back walls of your heart. You'll start instinctively following the little sighs of relief she makes when she feels understood, like bread crumbs in a dark forest. And you'll begin to develop a working attunement to her inner world, which is often as mysterious to her as it is to you. And soon, you'll start to resonate with it, subtly, wordlesslly, intuitively. When this happens, it will humble and floor her, and she will love you her whole life long.
Listen, because this is the most important part: You must not resent women for being like this. You must not love them despite this, while wishing they were another way. You must love women for being like this precisely because they are like this.
It's your only chance at being loved in the same way.
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Jun 11
This quote hits different when you realize Jung fucked his vulnerable patients and humiliated his wife with repeated affairs.
Yes, sacrificing for others is hard. But that is also part of the dues that life demands! Self abnegation is the base price of love, the foundation of your humanity. For all his love of myth and religion, Jung failed to grasp the truth underlying the story of Cain. Failing to sacrifice appropriately - to pay the dues of life, of love, of relationship, of civilization - is far more expensive than humility, generosity, and accepting the constraints that make a good life possible, for you and the people you love.
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 10
“ego is the enemy” nah. a properly sized ego is an enormous asset: it sees clearly the world and your relationship to it
an inflated or weak ego contorts your vision in either direction: overestimating your reach or underestimating it
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 10
we live in age of great moral panics about things that don’t matter and zero moral outrage over some of the most egregious societal sins we’ve ever seen
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Vivid Void retweeted
Jun 10
People say “men must become, but women just are”. But I believe it’s actually imperative us women find a way to define ourselves and womanhood through ourselves, instead of through others, lest we live a toothless, cowardly, yet simultaneously narcissistic existence. We didn’t always have the liberty to do this, but now we do. And it is our responsibility.
Motherhood is a gender-affirming, deeply male-centred process for a LOT of c!s(het) women. A LOT.
Many c!s women do NOT want the reality of motherhood; they want a permanent gender marker, a status symbol and absolute power over a helpless being that depends on them for life.
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Jun 10
You must understand the role that feeling special plays in most women's sexuality. She must be special to you, and you must be special to her. EXCEPT. When you are not fucking special, bro, you follow the rules like everyone else. And most importantly, when SHE is not special, and needs to be treated as totally worthless. But only by you.
You will never discover some objective, female-of-the-species logic behind these fluctuations, because there is none. The woman you love's mood will change, unpredictably, according to some combination of life circumstance, whimsy, hormones, the dream she had last night, and sometimes, whatever is going on with her friends. You can not "understand" a woman in a way that you can grasp with your mind. But over time, if you relax, and stop trying to solve her like a puzzle, her unique patterns will begin to surface. Your surprise victories and half-glimpsed revelations will start to whisper wordless truths that vibrate softly against the back walls of your heart. You'll start instinctively following the little sighs of relief she makes when she feels understood, like bread crumbs in a dark forest. And you'll begin to develop a working attunement to her inner world, which is often as mysterious to her as it is to you. And soon, you'll start to resonate with it, subtly, wordlesslly, intuitively. When this happens, it will humble and floor her, and she will love you her whole life long.
Listen, because this is the most important part: You must not resent women for being like this. You must not love them despite this, while wishing they were another way. You must love women for being like this precisely because they are like this.
It's your only chance at being loved in the same way.
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Jun 10
Men's retreat in Boulder this September! x.com/vividvoid/status/20586…
May 24
The masculinity that can be spoken is not true masculinity. But when men come together in integrity, an ancient spirit effortlessly asserts itself in them - connected, jovial, strong & true of heart.
My annual men's retreat is now called Theseus Lodge. Let me tell you about it:
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