Weddings have never been more expensive. Walking down the aisle costs an average of $36,000 and can easily balloon to tens of thousands more. In many cases, the newlyweds’ parents help foot the bill — but they don’t always act like silent shareholders. Mothers and fathers often want a stake in the big day, and couples have to decide how much they’ll put up with. Is the money worth being forced to have a boozeless reception? To wear your mother-in-law’s old wedding dress that smells like mothballs?
Things can get heated quickly. When one mother-in-law disagreed with the couple’s menu choices, she sent the bride a scathing text. “It will be harder to fight both of you,” she wrote. “Perhaps your first united front as a couple. There will come a time when he has to choose: make you happy or his mom?” Sometimes, these clashes become so extreme that the brides wish they’d never touched the money in the first place.
Julia’s mother-in-law, Cheryl, offered to pay on one condition: all of her friends would be invited. Julia felt like she had no choice but to say yes — her fiancé wanted a big celebration, and they didn’t have the $30,000 to pay for it. But Julia had a bad feeling. Of the 150 guests, three-quarters were people Cheryl had invited, many of whom the bride herself had never met. “It felt more like I was planning someone else’s event,” Julia said. “I stopped seeing the wedding as me and my partner’s day.”
Read Angelina Chapin on the couples who regret accepting money from their parents to pay for their weddings:
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