Look, it's perfectly simple. I wasn't going to become an MP, then I was given £5 million and I coincidentally decided to run for Parliament. I then bought a house for £1.4m cash after saying I was "skint" and my girlfriend bought a house for £885,000 with money she didn't have and which I originally said I had bought. The gift was totally unconditional, as well as being for security and then it was a reward for Brexit. Nobody should have known about it, but the Russians hacked my phone, according to 'counter-espionage experts' who don't exist. See?