Business, law, tomfoolery. Cooking enthusiast. Reasonable with a light snark glaze. I’m correct, but it’s not legal or financial advice.
Joined June 2009
- Tweets 89,819
- Following 1,587
- Followers 2,762
- Likes 287,918
9,613 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
6 Sep 2020
Whole milk, heavy cream, and full-fat ice cream or GTFO.
41
7
181
10h
Oranje Bus!
Jun 15
1
8
190
Jun 14
We’re in that sea of oranje somewhere.
Once in a lifetime experience.
1
7
216
Jun 14
One of my daughters said “What’s the big deal? It’s just the World Cup” during a game.
I wrote her out of my will at halftime.
3
14
784
EBS retweeted
Jun 10
To any foreigners in the USA for World Cup: If you're in Western NY I'm happy to share a place to crash & some American cultural classics, including:
- classic car ride
- above ground pool
- ridiculously huge RV
- grilling
- fireworks
- if timing is right, tractor pulls
DM me.
2
1
9
175
Jun 9
I require a steak and then a hammock nap.
Very rude of work to keep being in my way.
6
191
Jun 9
No. The hardest of passes.
🚨 BREAKING: Nick Fuentes reaffirms that he will be supporting the Democrats in 2026.
“I’m a non woke moderate Democrat.”
4
197
Jun 9
For me it’s England (for my grandmother), Iran (for the politics), and Curaçao (for the sheer joy of it).
Other than the USMNT, who's getting your support at the World Cup?
For me, it's England and Scotland!
Being half English and having a Scottish grandad means I've somehow inherited twice the hope and twice the heartbreak.
🇺🇸 🏴 🏴
3
126
Jun 8
1
98
Jun 8
On the train wearing blue pants and a white shirt. Alone in the train car.
First stop: man wearing blue pants and a white shirt boards.
Next stop: man wearing blue pants and a white shirt boards.
Next stop: two men wearing blue pants and white shirts board.
Am I in the matrix?
3
4
201
EBS retweeted
Jun 6
ANTONEE ROBINSON WITH AN ABSOLUTE BANGER AGAINST GERMANY.
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!?!
176
1,396
19,315
1,163,483
Jun 2
I just wanted to see how much an iPhone repair was. I didn’t want a sad story.
9
84
May 29
Found a coffee shop with a tres leches style Biscoff cake, and I believe my weight is about to fluctuate significantly.
2
11
169
May 29
Today my girls texted me - while I was in the middle of a meeting at my office - asking me to order them buffalo wings for delivery because they were feeling snacky in the pool.
Raising girls is really easy if you never tell them ‘no’.
4
17
183
May 28
Poor Bill here thinks folks are going down to the river to beat their laundry against rocks.
Two hours? Son, you sound like you think a banana is $10.
May 27
You’re right, you don’t get paid for the commute. But you also don’t pay for the office, the desk, the power, the IT. I do. And smoke breaks are 10 min. Laundry between Zooms is 2 hours. Don’t pretend it’s the same.
1
6
215
May 28
Seeing a “How Rounding Works” explanation sheet at a place that no longer accepts pennies did not bolster my confidence in our education system.
6
98
EBS retweeted
May 28
i am still outraged that a jury found the president liable based on nothing but the direct testimony of Carroll, the two friends she told, the other women he sexually assaulted, his refusal to testify, his confusing Carroll for his wife, and his taped confession
She didn’t “complain” he raped her. She sued him decades after it supposedly happened. She can’t provide a date - not even a day, month, or year. She only has a story that is exactly like an episode from “Law & Order”. She’s mentally ill and made the whole thing up.
120
429
3,517
132,744
EBS retweeted
Wouldve definitely gave lil homie a plate. I could never turn a kid away who wants food. And I’d ask him if he wanted to learn to grill and if he did,I’d ask his parents if it’s cool if he comes by and helps the next time we grill. Grilling is fellowship. Grilling is community.
May 27
Social media is going back and forth after a kid smelled his neighbor’s BBQ, knocked asking for food and got sent home with a bag of chips
473
7,159
46,224
1,294,558