Saturday we went on a little adventure, a cruise, and end up coming back through the side of town I rarely visit. It had probably been two or three years since I had driven through. There were new subdivisions and strip malls. In between were pieces of the old landscape I had known, corn fields, little churches, old tobacco barns. I was born twice on the same street here and both buildings have long been torn down and replaced. The hospital is now a Publix, where my church sat there is now some government jobs agency. Our farm subdivided, the winding country road where they once filmed a folger’s commercial bc it was so scenic, covered up with new builds. In my life we have doubled and doubled again. 5 new high schools, soon to be two new hospitals. Three hours South of here there is a little place that inexplicably still appears on maps, probably bc there is too much empty around it. It was once a village my family owned, a store, a mill, post office, school, chapel, a clutch of houses. It withered away. All that’s left of it is our chapel, a community church with a dozen or so members. Places die in two ways, they wither and disappear into the kudzu, or they are knocked down and paved over for a strip mall. Almost nothing here remains in any sort of stasis, only riotous, cancerous growth or slow, creeping death.

How does a pastor know if his congregants are spiritually healthy at the individual, soul-deep level? What’s the metric? Would genuinely like to hear from clergy on this.

So, a lot of you are miserable because you won’t make a basic effort to be socially presentable. You think it’s beneath you to engage in small talk or show interest in the lives of others. Your refusal to be kind and attentive is a moral failing, and it will keep you lonely.

Last of the ferries on the Cumberland River

Happy tears

You ever just wake up in the morning and be like, “I am a worm.”

Never complain, never explain

I love that Butter Mom has become a thing. For those of us who came of age in the 90s (the greatest decade), this is who we envisioned ourselves becoming. Millennial gray culture tried to rob us of color and richness, but no longer.

One reason I came to this site was because I was reading books and essays I wanted to share with others, but now I am in the habit of scrolling and that dominates what I “read” and honestly it’s terrible and has made my intellectual life worse. But also, six years ago, this site was educational and a gold mine of interesting thoughts and a place of learning. It has fallen off bad since monetization. It’s a collectively dumber site.

GM

Years ago, I had a pastor tell me that sarcasm was the lowest form of humor, and now I always feel a little pain in my heart if I use it.

"For there's nothing as powerful or as great As when a husband & wife, united by oneness of mind in their thinking, Keep their home together—a great bane to their enemies, A blessing to their friends, & their renown is on everyone's lips.” Odysseus' great praise of marriage.

I kept long hair until my teenage years, and every night I would hang my hair off the side of the bed, and my mom would blow dry it, and my dad would sit in the floor and they would talk to each other and with me. Those are precious memories to me and the substance of what has grounded me in this life.

Nora Ephron interiors

“Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing.” What a line.

meet me at the refreshment center

To think that there used to be lions along the shores of the Aegean, the Mediterranean.

Think about the moment of your death. Think about the days and weeks after you’re no longer on this side of eternity. Now, think about what would bring peace to you in that moment; think about what you want people to remember and say about you when you’re gone. Now, think about what you need to do to live in peace and to be the kind of person who is redeeming this world right. this. minute. You’re preparing to die right now! The legacy you leave is in motion today! Maybe you’re thinking, “wow, I have effed up everything, and if I faced death today, I have nothing to show for myself except bad choices and broken relationships.” Guess what?? Today is the day of salvation! You can still die well. Do not delay. Memento mori yourself into peace with God and the world around you.

Fellas, if you read this and relate, you need to end the relationship today. Do not pass go; do not collect $200, etc. The degree of self-awareness and responsibility that she needs to possess to *not* be this girl will take years to develop, and if you stick around for it, it will suck the life out of you. You’ll be a shell. A hollowed out man. If you had sex with her, repent of that. Girls, if you read this and identify in any way, the tangled up mess in your heart and mind needs to be unraveled. For the sake of your current or any future relationships, you need to spend time alone right now. Don’t even talk to guys for a while. You need a strong female spiritual director. You need a confessor. You need a Celebrate Recovery sponsor. You need immersive hobbies. You need new friends. You need to repent.

Because worship is not about creating a mood or embodied experience to mystically encounter God as atomized individuals. Worship is the people of God encountering him through gathering together, praying together, listening together, singing together, eating together. It’s ordinary, organic, social, it doesn’t feel like it’s where God should be and that’s exactly why it’s where he is.