Today, it’s been a month without my pappa (dad)
I miss him every single day and night. I cry silently every night without letting my mom know, because I don’t want her to worry about me.
Pappa’s absence hurts so much. I miss him deeply. I never got the chance to talk to him about everything, because you all know how father–son relationships in middle-class Indian families can be.
When it happened, I didn’t even get the chance to talk to him not even in his last moments. I have so many regrets: I never told him how much I love him (it was always so hard to say), never got the chance to hug him. He didn’t know what I was doing in life; he only asked me about my semester results. I told him my CGPA, and he smiled and was happy.
What hurt most - he was going to be the first to see his son become an engineer in the family, but now he won’t see it in person. I know he’ll be watching from above, but still… it hurts.
In my first year, he gave me a laptop. I never asked for anything else, just a simple laptop. He didn’t know what I’ve become today, or the small achievements I’ve made. I hope he can see them from above and feel proud.
I have so many regrets. I’m nothing without him. I miss him so much. Living without a father is so hard, unimaginably hard. Even now, while writing this, I’m crying.
Dad, I’m going to achieve everything for you. I will fulfill your dream, which is now my dream too. I will take care of Mom and my little brother. I will be successful at any cost. Even though you’re not here with us, I’m going to make you proud,so proud.
Now it’s personal. I will never let your head hang low because of me. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.
You will always be my hero, and you will always be in my heart.