Something I don't often talk about.
How
#PitchYaGame helped me navigate a time where my whole life was crashing down around me.
For that, I will be forever grateful.
PYG not only helped me back to my feet. It gave me real purpose again, in a time where I had hit rock-bottom.
[maybe a cue for you to go grab yourself a beverage, as this is probably going to be a bit of a lengthy post] ☕️
I was battling through a breakdown, severe depression, crippling anxiety, through a divorce and then separation, whilst still trying to be there for those close to me. As a result of it all I could also no longer function in my previous line of work. It became too much for me. I do miss it, as it was one of the best jobs I ever had. Real eye-opener at times too; Not for the faint of heart.
[I will add that I was blessed to have had access to some incredible support too, including talking therapy, due to my previous role, BUT one of the best things I ever did to help me get a handle on my life, was to write anything and everything to do with me on little tiny pieces of paper (and I mean every.. thing)
Stuck them all to a cork board, and witness the chaos that I'd made my life, unfold in first person. - slowly over time I would move the things most dear to me to the center, moving the stuff I no longer wanted to the edges to slowly cull] - I called it my chaos board.
Once I could start to see the grass for the trees, I knew I needed to make something of my life, as ultimately there was big, big change afoot. The great reset.
You see, I've always been a big dreamer, and I've spent a lifetime in video games in one capacity or another. Playing, making, supporting, [and now working in]. I've always dreamt of one day running my own games studio. Nowadays I also dream of one day being in a position to reinvest into video games.
I took a huge risk in trying again to go down that route again... but I didn't really have a choice. I was now out of work. Roles and responsibilities etc. unfortunately don't just go away.
So I took to Twitter, BUT... I was immediately hit with net zero again, having had to take a long break, which made me even more determined, knowing that I wasn't alone with this problem... and thus I channeled my energy into how to solve this problem...
So I brainstormed, recounting my knowledge of running a successful hashtag
#30DayDev in the past... in the hunt for a memorable way to give people an opportunity to tell the world about their video game. Good old synonyms to the rescue (seriously - single best tool ever)
Thus the concept for Pitch Ya Game was born, PYG for short; rallying the industry in my wake, to make it the best launch, ever. And boy was it. May 26th 2020.
The success of PYG however, was to be extremely bitter-sweet as I'd spent all the time prior to, and leading up to my breakdown, fighting for the very success I was striving for.
Slowly over time I healed, and although that particular part of my journey is now over and in the past, to this day I'm not 100%.
I still battle sometimes with the compounding isolation and loneliness that follows a separation. It's the quiet, and the winter SAD, I struggled with for a long time and still struggle with to be honest.
Which is why I mostly like to keep myself busy, especially when I'm not. I still battle from time to time with the anxiety and the depression, I'm just a hell of a lot stronger as a person now.
I'm so, so, more aware of myself as a person, too, and I've become acutely aware of how much physical and mental real-estate I have at all times. This is important (so we don't sink ourselves further into uncontrollable, unmanageable existences). I've since mastered the art of saying "no". Because before that I was very much a "yes" to everything guy.
I made a vow to myself, never to ever end up back there, so it's slowly become a fine art of balancing plates.
PYG helped me by giving me purpose when I was at one of the lowest points I've ever experienced in my life and in-turn it fostered the position I now find myself in, for which, I will forever be grateful.
Fast forward 6 years, we've had awards, endless great days of recognition for indie games, a plethora of awesome media coverage and so much more.
#PitchYaGame (and now
#TeaseYaGame) is still going strong. Even through all the drama, and change et al. Helped because it's a hashtag at heart; a multi-platform, multi-dimensional one at that.
All my life I've been striving for success, especially in video games, but now I'm there, I don't always feel like I know what to do with it. Being human there's an awful lot of days where I feel like an imposter, hah, but my life was made 100x better for it, and for that I will be eternally grateful. 🥹
My life now is far from perfect, and there are still battles I face and I am facing, but it's certainly "much less" of a rollercoaster now and I can now look forward, more, to what the future holds. To future chapters.
Long may PYG continue, even if one day by someone else's hands. 🫡
Thank you for being a part of this journey.